Al-Fatihah Hana Kirana

Today we heard about Hana's passing and rasa macam blur kejap. I cannot compute that she is no longer around. Those who knew her lived vicariously through her travels (including me) and whenever she updates her IG I'm sure most of us will be so mesmerized by her achievements, charting new territories with every update. This woman is so fearless. I nak naik uber sorang2 also baca ayat Kursi sepuluh kali. 

Tapi Hana, Dia dapat tengok pokok baobab ok. Pokok baobab! Sorang2 dia. How awesome is that!

Baru few days back my friend was reminding our group chat that life is too short for dramas and I couldn't agree more. So go on. Make that trip. Call that estranged friend/family member. Take that leap. Forgive that person.

So Hana, as we panjatkan doa untuk you, thank you for inspiring us. We will miss your travels and may Allah keep you in His loving grace.

Rehat ya Hana. :(

Home early

On the train now. Left early because we're entitled for a 2-hour free leave per month. It's been a mentally exhausting back-to-back week (mentally only because I think my body can still handle this) with Idris hospitalised for 5-days (will write about this later) and my colleague (probably the only reliable one around) has decided to leave and her last day is tomorrow. :(

Here's what I'm asking from the universe: please grant me a better job in January 2018. Third time's the charm eh?

Musin

Here’s the deal with my job, or working in general.

I think I may have lost the passion to work. There I’ve said it. I’m not sure how this came about – maybe because things are not so peachy at work right now (long story short, boss is on a questionable “extended block leave” and I may need to change portfolio soon and I’m not sure how long I can hold on). I’m always ready for new things, new adventures but not right now. Probably not ever.

Life begins at 40, but does career ends at 40 too?

Now that’s a scary thought. 

Day off

Took the day off to watch Emre's taekwondo grading today. Hectic day, from chauffeuring the kids to making meals and by 3pm I was exhausted. Promised the youngest that I'll wake up at 4pm but when i woke up it was already 5pm hee hee.

Oiso Utropolis

I swear to god shopping malls in selangor and KL are popping up like nobody's business. But Malaysians spending power is an enigma to me. Why are they so rich? And why am I so poor?

Anyways, last night we had dinner at Oiso, Utropolis (yup you heard that right) in Glenmarie. It's one of those new high-rise apartments and suites with makan places area (oh KDU is also nearby) so there's nothing much there yet. Except for a 'sikit atas' Mydin, clearly replicating Jaya Grocer.

Oiso is one of the go-to Korean restaurant. Dubu-yo and Mr Dakgalbi are convenient for the K-cravings but Oiso will not disappoint when it comes to Korean food. I sorely miss Bulgogi Brothers though. Ever since they closed down I've not found anything similar. Blah. 

This pajeon may look plain but it's so gooooood!

Chicken BBQ forever!

My kids had a taste of the chicken and I'm glad they enjoyed it (because I actually made them bihun goreng before coming over!). 

Perhaps a trip to Seoul next year is due. I don't know yet. Money is tight and I'm hoping 2018 will be a better year for me. 

We built this city

This city is making me melancholy lately. But then again, I'm starting to love working in this part of the city. The hustle and bustle of the city can either humble you, or make you want to pull your hair out.

I'm going with the former for now.

Mama San KL

Had dinner at Mama San KLCC last Friday. Although I'm broke like nobody's business, I've also not spend pn good food. Weekdays are all about eating food court food lunch, or some random gerai makan yang diragui status kehalalan-tayyiban-nya haha.

I've been to Mama San once with the husband and we enjoyed the (expensive) food there. Nasi goreng pineapple is a repeat order for me - although I can't help to wonder how come fancy restaurants dont serve nasi goreng pineapple in a pineapple ya know what i mean? My friend say the butter chicken is nice so yeah RM48 FOR BUTTER CHICKEN?!? NO PROBLEM! I thought the phad thai tasted good too, Wish i had room for some dessert though.

Hot day today and yesterday, I'm very irritable due to the weather so I'm gonna start to throw away things and declutter a little bit more. Very behind with the minimalism project, but I've also got an inner demon to fight constantly. 

Hope you're all doing okay. 

Cooking cooking

First of all, Happy Deepavali guys! We were supposed to go out today but Rumi not feeling well so we're home bound with nothing to do but slave ourselves to the gadgets. -_- OK lah we went out for maggi goreng in the evening. Wanted to get cakes but mamak seems like a cheaper option.

Anyway, last weekend? I signed up for a cooking class. Cooking Workshop with McCormick to be exact. I think it was the Creamy Paprika Chicken that enticed me to join the class BECAUSE WHO NEEDS QUINOA SALAD haha. But I've been to photography, brush lettering, make-up workshops so I might as well try a cooking one.

It was alright lah. Hey a note to self, stay away from any aunties when you're picking your group. Annoying AF if you ask me! Anyways, thanks for the free spices McCormick! 

new start

I kinda forgot how fast paced the banking world is and now I need to pick up the pace soon enough. 40% of my jobscope is something totally new, tedious perhaps but I accept the challenge with open arms. I've also recently turned down an offer from my previous beloved bank and I'm praying that I made the right choice. I know it was the best decision, but I need to keep an open mind that anything can go wrong.

Hopefully no more back-stabbing and sabotaging this time around. 

nervous

I start work this Tuesday (yay for the extended PH on Monday!).

Nervous dia tak payah cakap la, especially when I look at the boys. They had my full attention for the past 3 months and now we have to adjust to me working again. But I guess that is the beauty of losing your job, you have more time to reflect, more time for family and I must say it's been a fulfilling stint.

Too bad money doesn't grow on trees! Now I need to focus on rebuilding my emergency fund (PTPTN dah habis bayar alhamdulillah!) and to continue with this minimalism journey. 

Silver linings ahead.

Be thankful

Here's where the problem lies.

I am scared shit to go back to work. There I've said it.

I think the bad experience with the previous job has scarred me for life and whilst the idea of going for interviews excite me, I go home with the unsavory feeling. "What if I get the job offer and they treat me like shit too?"

Seriously Nate, you used to grab life by the balls and this is what life has become. :(

I must say I'm really blessed to have friends who are looking out for me, sending me job vacancies links when all I do is sit on my broke ass watching We Bare Bear re-runs. OK not every day haha. Once a week only where I allow myself to wallow in self-pity the entire day.

It's already Friday. Time to smile and face the world!

Toys Clutter

I had a good interview session yesterday. When I say good, I mean a) when interviewers ask for a solution, my face lights up and I have 1001 answers for it b) I came out from the interview room knowing that this is the place I want to end up working/retiring with.

Now to focus and ask from the universe that I'll nail a second interview and eventually this job! 

After the interview, I rewarded myself with a slice of pizza from Tedboy and head on to my old beloved office to pick up my ex-colleagues and had lunch with them. Came home, took a nap, woke up and said to Em:

"Jom kita buang toys?"

And I didn't expect it was so easy for my kid #2 to part with his toys! We threw away most of them (because to be honest I wouldn't want to donate broken toys anyway), put some aside for donation, and let Em keep some. There's actually another pile of toys in our small library room/store but I'll let Rumi take care of that. Good thing he didn't throw a hissy fit when he came home to an empty toy box! :)

the minimalist project

I've embarked on my own personal frugal x minimalism journey to keep my mind off things. 
It's a slow and steady process as there are a lot of things that we need to get rid of. the rule of the thumb is simple, if something you own no longer sparks joy or no longer has any significance in your life, get rid on.

Often, the subject of hoarding or cluttering is often connected to "not being able to let go" but slowly I have started to throw away, or donate. Some of the items I'm unsure of I still keep, because I really just can't decide, you know for sentimental values. Like, my late father's coffee table. It's a gorgeous piece, but I really don't have space for it.

I'm so glad there is a CRCbox near my house, a non-profit organization that collects items for recycling / donation. The boys' old clothes that they can no longer fit or my clothes that I think I can fit again once I lose some weight (let's be real here, it's never gonna happen) all go to the box. Another option is I can send them to H&M and get discount vouchers in return.

Today we got the CRCbox team to come over to collect our old sofa, TV, computer table and closet. I bought a new closet, albeit a smaller one, but at least it'll keep me reminded that hey, don't buy so much clothes, you don't have space for it. Looking forward to this weekend so that I can start picking what goes to the new closet and what to give away! 

Like I said, it's a slow and steady process, but definitely a fulfilling one.

Now to get my husband to part with his items hmm....

Raya 2017, done.

Can't sleep. We're back from Alor Gajah and the weather in KL is no help. Had a good Raya so far. Well, I'm still bummed that we had to forego going back to KB this year but that's okay. KB will always be there. I can always make a trip up there sooner or later.

Before going to bed, DH asked me: "what are your plans tomorrow?"
Ya Allah, tak bestnya soalan ni. Er, standard answers: cook. look for a job. kemas rumah.
But at the back of my head I am getting nervous. very nervous. 
while i am enjoying this SAHM stint, I am hoping i'll get a job soon.

Dah nak masuk July dah ni. Guess I just need to push myself a little bit harder.

I can do this!

a slight bump

I got laid off effective 1 June 2017. Bulan Ramadhan nonetheless and last week i kept thinking how on earth did I get from being a star performer at a banking job to losing a job in a maritime industry? I'm done being sad and dejected last week and I'm hoping my friends and family are done being angry on my behalf.

I bought a new laptop last Saturday and finally opened it yesterday. Can't waste much time moping and the CV is not gonna update itself, kan?

This is my journey to find a new if not better, job.  Have faith.

spinner's agenda

My firstborn better not be reading this article! So fine, America, it's a tool "to ease anxiety or help those diagnosed with ADHD or autism". But to me it's just another annoying fad in Malaysia that will sooner or later go away.

The other day Idris was telling me how all spinners were confiscated at school and kids caught with spinners were made to stand on the stage as a punishment. I had the biggest smile on my face when I heard this. :)

I'm sorry, i just find kids with spinners annoying and obnoxious. Dah la hari tu dak2 spinners ponteng solat Jumaat and loitering around at Bangsar Village. Blek.

dUcked

Guess I’ve been dUck-ed guys. My good colleagues at work got me the Matte Satin Silk Scarf in Cosmic Blue (yup totally control-V control C-ed this) and I must say it’s the gorgeous thing ever. I loved the color, the material and it sits well on my head.

I’ve never been compelled to get one for myself because RM130 a pop is just too pricey for me. Although that doesn’t explain how I don’t even flinch when I see Ariani’s scarves selling at a higher price than this. Maybe because Ariani has excellent quality? Maybe because dUckies are annoying and I feel like punching them in the face whenever they go batshit crazy over website crash (EVERY SINGLE TIME) etc etc. Maybe I’m just waiting for someone to get it for me haha.

Not sure when am I gonna wear it though. Maybe at some office event. We’ll see.

this stage

I'm at this stage where things are not going my way right now and I wish that the fate of my career does not hang on someone who is insignificant. Although I never regretted the decision to quit my previous job, and perhaps karma is giving me some tiny bites of my own medicine, I have faith that this shall pass. 

There is a silver lining somewhere. I just need to either find it or wait for it. 

xoxo

remembering Amri

While i was in Japan, Amri Ruhayat, writer extraordinaire, friend, passed away.

My little homage:

Saddened to hear about the passing of our dear friend Amri Rohayat today. We all have our stories to tell about him, his selflessness to help others (including mine) and he was like a magnet that people just gravitate to. His sarcasm and wittiness used to annoy me but this what made Amri so special, to each one of us.

I am in Japan now, thinking about how at one time I ruined an interview at Media Prima, the one he set up for me because I was desperately looking for another job. He laughed heartily because I couldn't answer the final question -- "what is your aspiration?" because I was confused with inspiration vs. aspiration. I'm also thinking about the time I keep losing at Scrabble whenever I play with him, because who am I kidding? Amri is a freaking walking dictionary!

You can rest now, dear Amri. You have done so much throughout your colourful life. You are the only person I know in this world who keeps on giving and giving until the very end. 

Al-Fatihah.
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ

Note: Got a reply from his sister: "He played Scrabbles with our father since he was 8." :(

Also got to know that an old friend Ja'a has passed away recently as well. May Allah place them amongst the Most Beloved.

Found!

Misteri kehilangan wallet bukan satu misteri lagi.

It was in my sling bag all along which I used once in a while in Japan. When I got home, it was the first thing I took out without looking inside and completely forgot about the wallet.

Ish Nate. On a brighter note I don't have to go to UTC this weekend to get a new license. Yay!

Japan 2017

Japan, as always, is a dream I never want to wake up from. This year's trip is extra special because a) it was Imaan's and my birthday week b) my bestfriend and family were with me c) we're on a budget because we no longer have free accommodations compared to the previous trips!  

My wallet has gone missing. My pink Kate Spade wallet that DH got for me from his NYC stint. My gut feeling tells me that I left it at our airbnb home in Edogawa (in which to date I have yet to get a response from the host). Not sure why I'm not too bothered by it. Probably because I trust the Japanese if it's true I left it, then I'm sure they'll return it to me. (Update: Host kata it's not there. Boo.)

I have my credit card, IC, kids' IC, my HSBC card with me so that is half of my headache gone. But in the wallet ada my Maybank & CIMB ATM cards, lesen kereta and gaaaaah arwah Baba's photo. I don't give a shit about the rest.

Misteri jugak kehilangan wallet ni. On a happier note my bestfriend is getting me a new wallet! Funny, we were both browsing for new wallets (she's in Kuantan btw) and we both came up with the same choice! Ah kindred spirit. 

staycation

Got excited when Expedia gave 50% discount off on selected hotels. Excited sangat sampai salah book hotel!  But I suppose we can only make the best out of it and we did. Stayed at Royale Bukit Bintang for a night (note to self sis: next time book Royale Chulan, check betul2 ok) and I guess I can't complain. I mean as long as we have running water and no ants/cockroaches jumping in the room, I'm cool with it. Nice to see this part of KL anyway. 

I wonder if these tenants invest in binoculars...

Hand lettering gives me so much peace. Well most of the time that is.

What's up KL! Hanis Zalikha's view is from the other side of KLCC. #eh

At least ada kiddie pool! Phew.

My growing boys. Adik lost a tooth, and Abang discovered Sherlock.

New horizon

Never in my life I thought I'd ever sleep in an oil vessel but slept I did. Flew to Bintulu on the 4th for a last minute work assignment. I had my reservations about sleeping in a ship, trust me, it's not about getting sea sick 'coz I never do but it's the fear of drowning. But work is work, and fear aside, I took a morning flight to a town I've never been before.

Watched Cold War 2 (Aaron Kwok, Tony Leung) dan damsonnnnnn Aaron Kwok is looking so fine. Growing old gracefully, that man. Thought I could finish the book that I'm currently reading too but I got distracted by the movie. I loved the movie so much I watched it again on my flight back. :)

While we wait for our boat to the ship, we had lunch at Sushi King. Eyyy I didn't know the existence of these delicious eggs man! I wouldn't recommend the soft-shell crab though.  

The speed boat. Took us 30 minutes to reach the vessel.

Trivia: Back in uni I can speak Sarawakian. 

Obligatory feet shot.

 My cabin was pretty decent. Since the vessel was manufactured in Korea, almost everything was made in Korea. Even the blanket hehe. I was slightly worried that I might be claustrophobic but by midnight I was dead asleep. I'm sure the smell of gas from the vessel killed a handful of my brain cells that night though hehe. 

Fancy table lamp there, also made in Korea. Tak sempat sentuh dah nyala. Power!

Subhanallah, Allah is indeed Great. 

The food on board was delicious. For dinner we were served nasi beriani kambing and had nasi lemak for breakfast. The Captain and crew were nice to us as well. I did feel a bit sad when it was time to leave, because I think I may have fallen in love with the sea that have scared me so much all my life. 

Since we had few hours to burn before our flight, our driver took us to Pasar Tamu Bintulu where we bought:

• ikan bilis mata biru (dengar khabar sedap gilak)
• belacan bintulu
• ikan masin
• ikan terubuk masin

My SIL messaged me to find Gery Saluut Malkist in bintulu. Tengah viral katanya. So we went to Time Square to look for them. Wah the cheese ones were sold out at the supermarket there! Bought chocolate ones first. But we then later managed to find some in a small shop in the same mall.

Okaylah jugak. Nyaman rasanya. 

Belacan and ikan terubuk masin. 

Not sure when will I get the chance to do this again but I'm guessing there'll be more. I danna. Allah knows best. 

40 it is this

My eldest reminded me that I'm 40 this year. Well he does this on-and-off, since last year because he's very into doing mental calculations. OK fine. 40 it is then. 

Found this link of 52 questions. Each week for one year, take one question and write as much or as little as you want. 

https://familysearch.org/blog/en/52-questions-52-weeks/?repeat=w3tc

Will attempt this later. Should be interesting. 

New Year

Took the day off to settle the kids' school. Em has pre-school in the morning and guess what! No more morning drama with Rumi because his school is in the evening session. Huzzah! 

Ibu still has issues with letting go. 

After picking up Em from school I dragged him to LHDN. I thought I still owe LHDN money but turns out I don't! Alhamdulillah. Managed to clear my late dad's outstanding balance as well so I think this is a good start for 2017. Can focus on clearing PTPTN now! Ugh.

How could you LHDN! ;p