My mother used to spend hours in front of the tv sambil melipat baju dan melayan sinetron/telenovela. I would do the same but both sinetron/telenovela -- I cannot tahan. Marshanda/Bintang/Kejora should all die a slow painful death like the slow-motion shots that happens every five minutes in the sinetron. Marshanda punya slow-mo shot mesti dengan mulut ternganga which I don't get at all. An expression of guilt, or anger, or shock doesn't need to be with a open mouth no?

Telenovela(s) are as horrible, because Pinoys dress like whores and their boobies are too big for their body. And they have talking dogs! But I shall not comment much about telenovela. My adik angkat is now dating a Filipino (I don't know how to tell him that she looks like a man with overblown boobies and fake lips). Mwahaha.

Gambar di atas? Tiada kena mengena dengan topik yang dibincangkan di sini. I got bored.

p/s: I secretly wish Malaysian dramas can be made panjang berjela rentak berlipat like sinetron&telenovela. Si Capik doesn't count.

My little bat is asleep (he'll probably wake up by the time I'm sleepy!) and I should take this little chance to update this space. But I don't really have anything to say right now. Another bad weekend for me so hopefully next week things will get better. I keep telling my husband that "I'm trying very hard", you know, just to act like a sane wife but sometimes I just get too tired and sick of myself. Sometimes I just want to duduk dalam store and cry myself out because talking about it would make things worse.

But inilah cabaran kehidupan wanita berpantang. Dalam masa 44 hari senang sahaja you lose grip of your sanity. Just few more days to go, Nate. Berusahalah!

Lepas ni kita pergi shopping okay. Duit bonus masih menanti untuk dihabiskan tanpa berfikir dua kali.

If my calculation is correct, I should finish my pantang on 2nd May. But if I wanna cheat and go for the 40 days confinement instead of the punishing 44 days, it'll be end of April.

Yah, yah, berusahalah Nate!

(I think I've been punished enough)

My little oppa, yang pandai membawa diri.

Mana ada sepi!

Anyway, having someone close to you lose her baby at a babysitter has made me extra paranoid about bringin up kids. It's not just about the issue of negligent babysitters, but also the weight of bringing a child into this world and ensuring that you don't have to see your child go before you do. A morbid topic of discussion, yes, it's something that every parents fear I suppose. Or should we just bertawakal and berserah pada ketentuan Allah sahaja? I could, but since I'm in confinement, I'm allowed to wallow myself in insecurities and fear for my children.

(wow, I said 'children'. 10 years ago mana ada terfikir to have kids.)

Anyway, I still have another 2 months to decide on what to do next once I start working again. Nak hantar ke daycare or not? Find a babysitter? Status quo? I will find my answers then.

In the meantime, I got some online shopping to do and sputter some merapu-ness on my twitter before kid Emre wakes up. It's kid Rumi's first day at the cinema with his dad today. Harap-harap dia behave.

Today I watched Life as a House (the dying father re-built a house, rediscovering the lost bond he had with his miscreant son) and thought, would I'd be a different person if I lost my dad from a terrible illness instead of having him yanked from my life all of a sudden?

But I lost Danial from cancer and I'm still regretting the time not spent with him. I don't know where this entry is heading, I just miss them both very much. *sigh*

Note to self: That's it, no more sad movies for me. Life is a great big canvas kan, I still have a lot of space to paint it with happiness.

Still alive. Takde mood nak update apa-apa. My new little bat is lovely, kita namakan dia Emre, and I'm just waiting for the 40 days to be over!!! Nghhhhhhhhhhh! :)