mimpi. mencuri fonsel Zed Zaidi dan tertangkap lantas dikejar sekumpulan Oompa Loompa yang berparang. akhirnya dibuang daerah dan terkapai-kapai mencari bantuan, seseorang atau sesiapa yang sudi menyelamatkan diri ini.

realitas. dua minggu lalu. memandu di MRR2 lantas memotong sebuah perdana hitam. "Maaaaa!", jerit aku pada ibu. "Zed Zaidi!!!" Si ibu yang mata coklatnya masih belum sembuh dari pembedahan bertanya "betul ke? hensem tak". Dia hensem. Sehensem wajahnya ketika menjatuhkan talak terhadap Zeti. Namun, jelas dia tergolong di dalam coccoon yang terlalu teruja apabila dipandang. aku memotong keretanya sekali lagi. jeling sajalah. cukup.

sembilu kasih semakin intense. walaupun kadang kala tertidur (to my mother's dismay - because this is the only quality time i have for her these days - maaf ma! but you know-lah my weekends are crazy these days). Jumaat lalu aku dicubit Mama, "Bangun, dia orang dah bercerai. zety had a miscarriage". Haaaa!?! How can la be like that! Habis tu! Perempuan gediks yang putus tunang itu bersorak kegembiraan lah! Maka makin cerah lah peluangnya untuk meng-SHITWHATISTHEWORD fendi/zed zaidi!!

sometimes i say to myself, i watch too much tv. i could be right.

di endau

ungkapan laut di langit hitam
bintang dilihat dalam lautan
sangkutnya jala berukir hati
bagaikan cinta ku harap disisi
jaringan bibir bagaikan sesikat
nyiur dihanyut seimbas ombak
pohon ibu dilepas bayu
bagaikan hati menggisir batu
disinilah cinta menyerang aku
disinilah aku diserang kamu

Jalan Sesama (Indonesian version of Sesame Street) is so kiyoot! So when are we gonna get our own version eh?

Anyway, as expected, sudah ada orang membalas surat yang dilayang oleh wanita di Wellington itu semalam. 3 replies! Belum baca sepenuhnya lagi. Tengah asyik baca tentang kenaikan pencen. Sebentar lagi nak call my mother and tease her about the pay increase hee hee.

Gunkz - Cantik vidclip

I knowww, I'm 30 but I'm still a big fan of hip-hop. This is cool, sounds like Iwa K though.

Oh my God, you're kiddin right? Somebody actually sent a letter to Utusan Malaysia (sila rujuk pada suratkhabar tersebut ini hari) bertajuk:

Lelaki Melayu bermasalah?

*cringe*

Pada pendapat saya topik sebegini sesuai untuk suapan pembaca blogs sahaja tapi to actually send the letter to a local daily is is is ... so BITTER. Damn pei la weh!

Some excerpts: (i had to type this myself ok sbb cant find the online version and demi tidak menghampakan pembaca2 di sini (oh please) dan juga Cik Nate terpaksa menutup tajuk surat itu sbb nanti opismate buat spekulasi macam2 ttg my racial preference ho ho)

"Saya tidak faham mengapa lelaki Melayu mesti berkelakuan begitu buruk sekali."

"Golongan wanita tidak kira daripada bangsa apa pun, lebih selamat berada di kalangan lelaki Inggeris daripada bersama lelaki Melayu."

"Mereka perlu diajar menghormati wanita."

"Saya hendak berterus-terang; saya sudah bosan dengan sikap lelaki Melayu yang terus-terusan menimbulkan masalah dan sentiasa juga enggan mengaku itu ialah masalah mereka."

"Barangkali saya bersikap terlalu cauvinis wanita. Tetapi saya percaya cauvinis wanita tidak akan wujud jika puncanya tidak ada."

Ho ho Ho. Sungguh lantang wanita ini.

I have nothing to say. I'm looking forward to read the feedbacks/brickbats from disgruntled men or women yang bakal mengangkat wanita ini sebagai suara glokal mereka. *giggles sambil memandang sinis pada ofismate lelaki Melayu yang muka semakin merah apabila membaca warkah tersebut*

ayn

ayn
Originally uploaded by natinski.

Setelah penat bermain kejar-kejaran with my niece - Ayn terus ke tingkat atas untuk mengadu-domba kepada neneknya i.e. my mother:

Ayn: [undecipherable ramblings] Makcik kejar Ayn, bla bla bla
Mom: Makcik nak apa?
Ayn: MAKCIK NAK KAHWIN.

Cik Nate: .............

Hati ayahnya BERBUNGA RIA kerana puteranya seorang yang berilmu malah sentiasa dahagakan ilmu.
*falls asleep*

I'm at page 2 of Siddhartha. I know I can finish this, i just need to read it out loud in my head.

p/s: Congratulations to my sister Audra for winning the Anugerah Guru Cemerlang something-something award!

Kepala ni rasa macam nak meletups. how do men ppl manage to piss me off for 2 day straight?
I'd like to think that i'm the type of person who can handle anger graciously. i hate confrontations and if i feel that i dont need to explain/defend myself when i know i dont need to, then i'll just shut up. i mean seriously, you can look at me, and you can judge me for being the person that i am NOT. do you think i care? i'm so used to being stared at. sejak kecik lagi. no big deal man.

tapi ada jantan keparat sekor ni pinjam my thumbdrive(s) and i want them back! malasnya aku nak call dia and remind him over and over again that harta orang lain jangan disimpan lama2 nanti bila mati masuk neraka and all that, let alone nak tengok muka dia! Isk geram. Sakit kepala ni tau. Ok fine, i got the thumbdrives for free but still, they're mine!

Ok Cik Nate, think happy thoughts:



Er, that's my niece. Ada one day i went to her house and she cant stop saying "Makcik dah kahwin ke belum // Makcik bila nak kahwin" dalam segala intonasi berjuta-juta kali. Heh. I thought that was amusing. Serious! Makcik tak kisah kalau anak2 buah makcik semua tak sabar nak pakai baju flowergirls mereka. Iskhhh.

OK next happy thought.

Last Friday ketika cuba masuk ke sebuah kelab for their free-flow of margarita, the bouncer mintak check IC *roll eyes*. So i showed him my IC-lah. And he was like "woooooooooah". I just senyum jelah hor, and said "YES, I'M 30". Rupa-rupanya tahun ni adalagi ada orang nak check IC aku. Tsk.

Ok one more happy thought for the road. This is good, My anger is slowly surut.

I have a copy of my all-time favorite book Siddharta by Hermann Hesse in Bahasa Melayu!?! wtf . Tak sabar rasanya nak baca. Maybe i'll take a peek tonight. Tapi bila baca buku ni mesti nak letak the english version next to it kan? Just to compare. Anal.

DJ Altimet aku sayang sama kamu! (ye ye DJ Fuzz kamu juga)

>> My English rant space is down. So tumpang sini sekejap.

“I’m depressed!”
Most of the time it will fall to deaf ears because my friends hear that all the time but this week alone I’ve had 3 friends shouting back at me “Nate, you’re not depressed!”. Ok fine, let’s just call it temporary insanity then. Or a bad funk that I occasionally have when things are not going my way. Or maybe I’m just getting depression and boredom all mixed up. Poo.

Hatta, who left yesterday morning for Bali (for 10 days – damn I wish I was a surfer with no commitments like him) gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead before departing and looked straight into my teary eyes and said “do something ok”.

But I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I’m okay, most of the time I’m not ok. I hate public holidays because I never make plans. I have great friends but sometimes I feel like I’m burdening them with the weight of the world. I never tell my family anything because I’m a big girl who always pulls her shit together. I stayed at home to read and vegetate yesterday. It felt ok because a good book is always a good company. I went out for some groceries at the shopping mall nearby and on my way home I was at a red light, and ohmygod, I didn’t know how I got there. How did my synapse managed to bypass my clouded mind and tell my foot to stop at a red light and not crash into the car in front of mine? While watching tv with Hatta the night before he said “you’re watching tv but your mind is somewhere else”. But where has my mind wandered?

Fin.

P/s: Dear Blake, please bring blonde back. You give Bon Jovi a baaaad name. A squat revelation: Mr Tumnus is actually James McAvoy. I had no idea! I love my !E tv.