Work is work is work

Probably just one of those weeks. Feeling unmotivated at work. Should I be worried? "One of those days" is normal but "one of those weeks"? That's a first.

Hopefully this is just a phase. I normally don't let what my superior complain about me (especially when it is uncalled for) get to me but the current workload is not helping me at all.

Jack of all trades, master of nothing. Hate it.

The boys

Everytime the boys misbehave in public I tell myself "the next time we go out again is when they're 15!"

They never listen. They wriggle themselves out of my grasp when I hold them. Emre would resort to biting me. Rumi would go all dramatic, roll on the floor and tell me he doesn't love me.

But all it takes is patience. Because when we go home Rumi would fall asleep with his face tucked under my neck. Emre, in his weird diction would tell me he loves me even if his bite marks are starting to hurt a little.

Everyday I tell myself I'm so blessed to have them. Life is too short to be angry at them all the time.

Ahh that sinking feeling when you realize you're back to square one when you can't share your workload with other (new) colleagues. Only consolation is that my jobscope is a specialized portfolio. wuhhuu.

Bad news? I can't get a decent day off without thinking about my deadlines.

Oh well, work is work is work. I'm just going to chill with my boys tomorrow. A day off on a Friday oh yeah!

I took a picture with my brother yesterday. I can't really remember the last time I smiled for the camera with him. Maybe it was on my wedding day.

Most of the time he frustrates me, where is your direction in life? How much money do you have in your savings account right now? What are your plans for the future?

 

I dont blame him. Growing up, he's always been protected by our Queen Mother and to this day, their stories together of how he took care of my grandmother till her last breath continues to warm my heart. By the time Mok passed away after my father, he was a lost kid trapped in a man's body. We decided that he should move to KL and start over and until today, I still find myself worrying about him.

 

We have never been close. Him, being lampooned in Kota Bharu and me in KL, I just couldn't really connect with him. I guess the past few years since his move I've been trying to mend everything. Not a daunting task except both of us are the quite types, so you can imagine the dramatic pauses and the sound of crickets throughout our meals together! But now I take pride in nagging him. I'm not too concerned about his personal life, boy can try to mend his broken heart for as long as he wants but when it comes to his savings, I'm on full mak nenek mode. I'm thankful that he is not the rebellious type, I mean we started pretty late on his savings, but he's been saving diligently for the past few years. I should know, I've been keeping the money for him!

 

My prayer for Aiman is that one day he will grab life by its horns and soar like the wind. I want him to find a better job, a nicer girlfriend etc. but he should do it on his own accord. Ganbatte!

 

And oh, Happy Valentine's Day. Spread the love.

Wordless Wednesday

Bagan Lalang lulz

Well we went to Bagan Lalang yesterday (Monday) and all I took was the photo of this tiger! The last time we were here was probably 5 years back, when R wanted to introduce me to his bestfriends. Talk about being nervous. The seafood was good (still good) and the funniest thing from that trip was how we got stopped at a road block. Why? Because I was faking an expression of being kidnapped. So kudos to the cops for being suspicious about us but R was a nervous wreck! Hee hee. And I thought I couldn't act.

2 kids later, we're back at the same place but this time around to check out the beach. As expected, the beach was dirty, the water was murky but I think the kids enjoyed themselves. Rumi was immediately drawn to the sand, and Emre took a nose-dive into the water. That kid knows no fear I tell you.

A mild annoyance is that we couldn't find fresh water to wash ourselves (I guess most of them at the beach were staying at the hotels/motels/chalets nearby) but thank god the seafood restaurant had a clean restroom (but not an hour later, when people started flocking the resto like bees). No food photos either, because Emre was quite cranky -- I would too, if I had sand in my wet diaper!

Looking forward to more beach trips but I think I should consider getting a sandbox for the boys for now. Less stress for us. :)

Hope you guys will have a good Chinese New Year. Off to collect some ang pows!

Just realized that my posts are pretty angst-y lately. Stop it!

Got myself a new phone today. Yeah, big deal I know. But I paid in cash! I am totally winning at life. Well, kind of. :)

(photo stolen from my husband's instagram)