I summon you my wizard of speech writing!

(I wanna shoot the whole day down down down)

Perhaps I should have a separate blog for my boobs.

\o/

 

Anyway, my kakak cleaner at the office ada tanya: "Banyak ke susu?". Maklumlah, sejak kembali bekerja, akak cleaner tu tak boleh tidur di store lagi, because I need to use it every four hours. So I replied, "tak banyak kak, memang tak cukup untuk anak".

 

Then akak itu terus buka cerita tentang betapa banyak susu-nya sehingga dalam masa sejam boleh penuh satu botol / anak2nya fully breastfeed sehingga umur 4 tahun / sampai melimpah ruah / sampai terpaksa buang susu … and to add the cherry on top, cerita tentang bagaimana anak2nya selalu tak cukup nafas apabila di-breastfeed sebab susu banyak sangat keluar.

 

And I just stood there, staring at her boob, mentally screaming "HAND OVER YOUR BOOBS OR ELSE!"

 

She looked at my boobs and sempat buat remark tu: "Adik punya kecik, macamana susu nak ada banyak"

 

Haih, menghina boobs aku pulak. Nak je aku sound balik akak tu, "at least I'm hotter than you!"

 

Pffthhhh.

Hari ini hari apa? Hari ini hari untuk dodge phonecalls dari ejen-ejen insurans that i met up with last week. I pretty much dah pilih which plan I want, but i’m not very good at telling people bad news. Sorry i tak nak beli insurance you, sebab you smell funny. Insurans you tak best, and your English is broken. Haha. It’s like trying to break up with someone. Susah untuk mengeluarkan kata-kata yang akan meng-let-down-kan orang.
Malas nak angkat their calls today. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll send each one of them a polite SMS – thanks but no thanks.

Visited my newphew at Wad Hematologi semalam. Dah lama tak menjenguk Wad 7B itu. Penghuninya silih berganti and setiap langkah aku diselangkan dengan doa agar mereka semua sembuh dari kanser. Ketika aku dalam pantang, Danial’s good friend, Wan, meninggal dunia. He was 17. Hilang sudah seri Wad 7B kerana dia lah yang paling aktif di situ. Kalau Danial lebih gemar baring di atas katil kerana tidak bermaya selepas chemo, Wan lebih suka menggagahkan diri, berjalan-jalan dari satu katil ke satu katil, menghiburkan pesakit-pesakit lain. Seolah-olah sakit yang ditanggungnya hanyalah luka kecil. Before he passed away, dia cuma ada satu permintaan – dia mahu baring di riba ayahnya and ahhhh, this is getting too emotional for me. Anyway, Danial is still fighting on. He’s lost 2 friends since early this year, but I have faith he will get through this.

Will continue later. I miss my kid! Hari2 pun rindu tapi hari ini extra sikit. Mungkin sebab rasa bersalah sebab semalam ibu-nya tidur dengan lena sekali sampai terhempap tangan baby. Hish nasib baik dia okay.

So lately I’ve been frequenting breastfeeding forums, you know, to get tips, to learn, to waste time bla bla bla.

Soalan, what are men doing in breastfeeding forums?! Rasa agak janggal apabila sang suami yang bertanya2 soalan (on behalf of the wife katanya) or memberi komen tentang hal2 penyusuan badan. So F weird, man.

Ask me about my first day back to work yesterday.

Why thank you for asking!

It was okay. Spent half of the day reading office emails (delete / archive / delete some more) then had departmental lunch kat Santini’s, Tropicana City. Aku suka makan di sini, the food is decent with affordable price. Then after lunch aku telah di-update on work and projects *shoots self in the head* dan in between had to run to the store to uhm, you know, express milk.

 

Ask me if I miss my son.

Uergh, like crazy! I didn’t even look at my phone for half the day (sbb ada gambar dia) and then by 3 I get to talk to him – his gurgles sound like poetry to me – and by the time I got home at 730 (was stuck in the jam for an hour and a half) he gave this longing look. That killer look yang membuat aku mati separuh badan dan mahu berhenti kerja dan terus mahu menjadi housewife etcetera etcetera.

 

Such is life.

 

Superwomen

I'm in a nursing room di sebuah pusat membeli-belah (recession tidak wujud di sini!). Bilik ini penuh - well mothers and their babies with poop and nursing needs come and go

and I'm thinking

man, I'm in a room with superwomen.

Counting blue cars

Counting blue cars
Originally uploaded by natinski

"Please don't be a mommy blogger", pesan si ayah.

"Campak je smartphone tu dalam sungai kalau tak reti/malas nak update". Itu pula kata kawan-kawan.

Pffth I don't even have time to comb my hair let alone update this space. OK I am exaggerating. But seriously, in between juggling motherhood | post-natal depression (well kind of) | anak masuk hospital | living away from family | the nightmare of berpantang | konflik menjaga baby secara tradisional vs. modern | no more coffee | milk kurang | stitches tak heal | etcetera etcetera

rasanya sekarang baru dapat bernafas sedikit.

Honestly, I don't know how mothers can spend time blogging about their life and their bundle of joy. I do spend a lot of time online tapi sekadar membaca (esp mommies' blogs lah hur hur) and watch the world go by through my little BB screen.

Idris Rumi will turn 2 months next week. Everyday I mentally pinch myself - OMG I HAVE A SON - dan sentiasa bersyukur kepada-Nya for this awesome gift (and for giving me a super-patient husband huzzah!).