Nate

Stuff I don’t like right now (because hate is a strong word):
1. Buat board report. Ngggh. Sudah hujung tahun ni, produktiviti kurang.
2. Bila orang langgar your side mirror di car park. Bukannya gheti nak betulkan balik.
3. Mengambil barang yang jatuh ke lantai

I’m sure there’s more but with my short memory span (a blessing in disguise at times) I can only offer 3 for now.

Anyway, my nephew Danial sudah dipindahkan ke another hospital to start his treatment (soon, I suppose). Tisu bone marrow sudah diambil dan next week we’ll get the result. Pertama kali melangkah masuk ke Wad Hematologi rasa seperti melangkah ke universe lain, di mana penghuni-nya hanya berpakaian hijau dan berkepala botak. Bilik Danial was at the end of the corridor dan setiap langkah ke sana terasa begitu berat sekali. Kiri, kanan, semua-nya botak. Ada yang ber-congregate sesama mereka (they look happy), ada yang terlantar (they look sad), ada yang bersama keluarga. Danial was playing Monopoly with a 24 year old guy bersama tunangnya. The guy has leukemia, dan ini kali kedua dia menjadi penghuni wad tersebut. For now, Danial seorang sahaja yang masih berambut dan memakai t-shirt comic yang aku hadiahkan untuknya, a stark contrast from penghuni2 lain di situ. Dia juga sudah pandai mengusik nurse2 dan guard2 wanita di situ, but hey that runs in the family. :)

Yesterday we spent a little bit of time di bilik TV menonton Spa Q (Danial’s room is too cold and miserable). Apabila masuk azan Maghrib, kami minta diri untuk pulang but he asked for us to stay a bit longer. By 7:30, I had to say my goodbye, lagipun this little light bulb dalam perut sudah mula mengaum kelaparan. Danial kelihatan sedikit kecewa, but we promised we’ll come back again over the weekend. Perhaps with a new board game, to ease the boredom a little. I wish I can spend more time with him before he starts chemo because by the time the real misery begins, when he starts losing his hair, when he starts vomiting, crying for help, I’m not sure if can be strong enough for him. It’s just so difficult right now.

In my head, I scream THINK HAPPY! But who am I kidding. For now I’m just grateful that my pregnancy tidak memberikan banyak masalah. I suppose this kid in my belly is giving me all the strength that I need. If I could clone myself. I would. To be a good wife, a devoted aunt, a stellar employee, a caring sister, a happier mother-to-be. Guess I have to work a little harder on that.

(updated: Danial gets to home until the 30th Dec! Alhamdulillah)