On your birthday

Happy birthday Fajar Aidu Abdul Talib.

Pejam celik sudah hampir setahun you hancurkan hidup I. But I'm sure you know that already, you read my text few months back kan?

On your birthday, I doakan you bahagia selalu dan dilapangkan hati you agar you memahami that the damage you have caused cannot be undone. Maybe one day when I'm mature and sane enough we'll have a chat over coffee so that you can tell me everything. Why him. Why me.

I doakan you akan berkahwin suatu hari nanti (dengan sang bujang okay, jangan rampas suami orang lagi tau?) you akan faham how hard it is to be a wife. Sure you'll take things for granted sampai it's too late to fix things but I hope you will find a man who will love you unconditionally. Someone who love you more than his phone (oops mungkin dia sibuk bekerja). Someone yang akan faham you -- like how you always cut people out when you're mad. That you're fiercely independent. You know, things like that. 

On your birthday today, fahami this. I had loved you unconditionally. I still never got a satisfying answer from him on why he chose you over me, but I guess it's his choice. 

Happy new year! Oh save the date. 20 January 2022. My first heartbreak anniversary.

Thanks to you!

xx, N.

p/s: Tak yah risau lah I post kat sini. Nobody reads this space. And I'm not about to go on TikTok with all the receipts. But I do hope when you google your name one day, you'll get to read this. Cheers!