Morning thoughts:

I figured kalau JAKIM/Majlis Fatwa/somesuperpowerwithnobrains mahu mengharamkam yoga, they might as well look into Muslims yang belajar Indian classical dance. Ever wondered if they've been praying 5 times a day? Hmm? Yoga helped me to get through some of my darkest days while trying to nurse a broken heart and it made a huge difference for me yang memang malas exercise. So yeah, that's my testimonial. Look around you, while we turn a blind eye on teenage couples meraba sana sini in public, we're wasting our time and effort trying to haram-kan something that is good for the body, soul and mind. So no brownie points for you Mr. Mufti!

Another thing that will not be getting any brownie points from me is EPF. Excuse me, i like my 11% caruman. So, those losers yang nak kurangkan their caruman to 8%, they're the ones who should isi borang la! Why us? We all know that by the time we retire, our EPF savings can only last for 3 years so fikir-fikirkan lah ye. 3% cannot buy you anything. Keep it. You'll be thanking me when you're old.

Sekian terima kasih. I'm gonna eat my 2nd roti canai now.

Hello.

Walaupun mengamalkan ajaran The Secret (Ask. Believe. Receive. Gratitude. Visualization) but ini sebenarnya kuasa Allah yang Maha Esa semata-mata dan maha mendengar doa (dan rintihan hamba-Nya).

I am 12 weeks pregnant. (addendum: woops, my bad, i'm 13 weeks preggers, man, I can't count)

In other words, aku sudah berjaya melepasi zon trimester (tanpa muntah2, Alhamdulillah) dan bolehlah untuk bercerita pada semua orang – yes, i’m pregnant! Yeahoo! (cuma R yang tak sabar memberitahu dunia-nya terlebih awal dengan memberitahu universe Twitter-nya – tapi berjaya di-delete dengan bantuan Cik Li before anyone sees it dan blog-nya sudah ada unsur-unsur ke-bapa-an). Too soon perhaps? We’ve been married for 4 months, inai masih di jari, masih lagi mencari kesesuaian/keserasian hidup bersama but rezeki adalah rezeki. Mungkin buat masa sekarang aku terpaksa letak di tepi dahulu borang permohonan biasiswa Chevening atau resume yang perlu dihantar ke World Bank (yes, there is an opening based in DC) atau Wii Fit yang sudah lama menjadi idaman itu but for now i need to concentrate on this miracle that is growing in my belly.

Everyday I am engulfed by fear – what if our baby grows up to be someone yang rude dan tidak mendengar kata, what if dia tidak pandai mempertahankan dirinya apabila dibuli rakan sekolah/majikan, what if dia tidak sihat, what if dia tak minat music & poetry & bad drama Melayu yang telah menyatukan ibu bapanya? Terlalu banyak ‘what ifs’ dibandingkan dengan ‘Alhamdulillah jika...”. Berat rasanya beban untuk sentiasa berfikiran positif but insyaAllah I will do my best.

To my friends who have not seen me since forever, aku minta maaf. Tiap kali aku tengok cermin rasa macam mahu di-spray paint sahaja cermin itu. Aku “serabai segala” these days! I know we will meet soon, when i feel good enough about myself. And don’t get me started on how stubborn and annoying i’ve been these days. ;)

So yeah, business as usual at this ranting space. This will not be a “my journey throughout pregnancy” blog i promise (sorry Li!).

Ada ulang tayang Lima on Astro Ria jika mahu nonton.

(oh Abang Laywer Handsome!)

Not sure I'm loving the new Dewa 19 track.

Rasanya mood Raya sudah tiada, it’s back to the usual grind at the office. Lagipun membaca Wall Street Journal dan The Edge Singapore semakin menggigit jari mengalahkan bacaan fiksyen. Aku sudah tak larat nak keep up with the market news (because I keep having to change the information in my write-ups or press releases), but nak tak nak terpaksa baca juga sambil gigit knuckles pula, memikirkan kemungkinan besar bonus tahun depan akan susut jika keadaan ekonomi terus terkapai-kapai kelemasan sebegini. Please do not mention "free-falling" in front of me! Oh well, I suppose rezeki ada di mana-mana, and it doesn’t have to come in the form of money.

Few things to share during the recent balik kampung trip :

1. Pilot MAS cakap dialek Kelantan on board. A nice change.
2. Opposite Istana Batu, there is a cultural village of some sort and also a restaurant that sells nasi ulam. Discovered lauk ikan patin asam pedas meets masak lemak, but with a Kelantan twist, because it was slightly sweet. Tapi sedap!
3. Ketika aku sedang menyidai baju di bawah rumah nenek, my youngest niece si Ayn was running around scaring everyone with a ‘tali’ and she was going “Eeeee, ular, ular”. Of course la I completely brushed her off. Then my other niece took a closer look and alamak, she’s playing with kulit ular! Apa lagi, lintang-pukang lah Cik Nate lari naik atas rumah hehe.
4. My youngest brother is so hopelessly in love. Checking his jiwang SMS-es made me wanna to vomit (sorry I have to play the over-protective sister here, awek gila dia tu asyik suruh dia jadi supir je). Bonus points if i get to understand the bahasa SMS though. Yuck.
5. Akibat kebosanan, my eldest nephew sudah buat music video shuffle-nya dengan bantuan Husband sebagai jurukamera. Will upload it on youtube jikalau connection is good. Which I doubt I’ll do it.
6. Fairul Nizam telah menjadi pelanggan feveret akak yang jual nasi dagang. Read here: Perihal Nasi Dagang..

Okay lah. Back to doing laundry. Nerissa jemput makan tengahari di rumahnya today. Dia beri jaminan sambal belacan uncle-nya pasti meletup. I hope she's right. :)

only in Kota Bharu

this is a happy public toilet
Originally uploaded by natinski

Tahun ini rasanya Raya paling best. :)

Semalam we went to Wisma PKNS at ShahAlam to buy baju kurung Raya. I think it’s my first real baju Raya since my father died.

We will be in Selangor on the first day of Raya and off to good ol’ Kelate until next Monday. I’ll only be on Twitter for now.

Selamat Hari Raya, and Maaf Zahir & Batin peeps!

Semalam berakhir sudah rancangan kegemaran aku. Selepas ini tiada lagi Lima dan eye candy, Abang Lawyer Handsome yang membantu NamRon untuk menjejaki semula keluarganya. Bila ada commercial break, sempat menonton Bersamamu. Kenapa dalam dunia ini masih ada warga2 tua yang hidup susah?!? You know, I cry everytime I watch Bersamamu, I know I’m super weak to watch it but noooooo, nak jugak tengok. Padan muka aku. I’m just a sap at heart. Even watching Pink’s latest video makes me want to cry because I think Pink and Corey Hart should stay together forever and ever.

Few more days to go before Raya! But masih di dalam mode ‘kerja-banyak-rasa-macam-nak-resign-24-hours’. Duit Raya sudah ditukar, biskut Raya sudah dibeli, hotel sudah di-book, jadi tinggal apa lagi? Oh, nak pack baju. Tak suka!

Gourd, how tragic is Lima kan? (The mini series on Astro Ria - Monday to Rabu - 9pm). It's really good though. Memang agak tension sikit apabila menontonnya but man, I'm hooked!

I can't be everybody’s moral police. Especially when I’m passing by the emerging stairs (it’s the fastest way to get to the loo) and I can smell food and ciggies, and men talking in low voices. Hai, bang, takkan tak puasa kot? There’s 20+ floors here, it could be anyone. It could be a team of lawyers, analysts or bankers, but I can only confirm that they are sekumpulan Muslim yang tak malu dan semoga dapat pembalasan yang sewajarnya di akhirat kelak. Benci.

Anyway, if you ever go to pasaramadhan at TTDI, if there’s a super friendly guy selling samosa (seringgit satu) – beli! The samosa is very nice.

I always thought J merupakan seorang yang paling bertuah kerana mempunyai seorang datuk yang dihormati ramai, di mana sumbangannya terhadap bidang penulisan dan journalism tiada tandingan. I suppose J inherited most of his traits - her love for books and kebijaksanaanya ketika kami menuntut sastera Inggeris satu ketika dulu mmg membuatkan aku cemburu. It was so easy for her, sedangkan aku terpaksa bertungkus-lumus untuk lulus. Pasti seronok menjadi cucu kepada seorang ilmuwan yang begitu banyak berjasa kepada negara. I don't think I'll ever forget his wide frame glasses (aku sebenarnya takut padanya - rasa kerdil diri ini - siapalah aku!).

Rest in peace, Pak Samad. You're in a better place now.

Al-Fatihah.

Stuck dalam trafik lagi semalam. Wahai muslim dah muslimah yang rushing nak balik rumah atau ke pasaRamadhan tu, harap2 bersabar juga lah ye. Saya pun nak balik juga. Tak perlu jadi pemandu2 super bangsat kerana you tetap akan lambat. Potong sana, cilok sini, tapi tengok, you masih di belakang saya bukan?

Looks like it’s gonna rain sekejap lagi. Not craving anything today. Cuma today harap-harap pasaRamadhan jalan kuching tidak menghampakan (ye walaupun jam sedunia sanggup ku tempuhi jua!).

Semalam di pasaRamadhan TTDI, tiada apa yang menarik. Hanya Din Murtabak mendapat stamp of approval di atas kesedapan murtabaknya. Tak sia-sia beratur panjang. I saw Erra Fazira beratur untuk beli popia basah jadi mungkin tempat tu sedap juga. The rest, brrh. You know I can tell if the ayam percik is any good by just looking at the kuah...

Today maybe mahu terjah the pasaRamadhan near my house. Menu wajib for me is murtabak, so hopefully can get a good one as well today. If the traffic is not as crazy as yesterday, that is.

By the way, I just registered my eldest nephew to attend a PMR workshop this weekend. He’s so gonna kill me! I don’t care, aku nak jugak dia attend workshop tu. Jangan ada geng2 shuffle kat sana sudah. ;p

Tahun lepas, suasana Ramadhan di office lama agak menyeronokkan. Aktiviti bulan Ramadhan diisi dengan tadarus, tazkirah dan juga the annual bubur lambuk percuma untuk hari pertama berpuasa dan juga peluang berbuka dengan anak-anak yatim. Tahun ini di office baru, habuk pun tarak. Soal beribadat, sendiri mahu ingatlah. Dahlah hanya boleh pulang jam 5. sigh.

Oh my life will never be the same again. Semalam berakhirlah episode Tangisan Bulan Madu with a ‘what-the-F’ ending. So next week with no TBM and Gossip Girl – how am I supposed to function?!?

The last time I checked, there are two other drama series yang menggunakan lagu tema yang sama seperti TBM. Lagu Pelangi Petang by Sudirman. *roll eyes* Can they please not imitate one another boleh tak? I’m sure there are other equally sappy songs that they can use.

On a superhero note, aku sudah report pada WWF (well I told a friend who used to work for WWF who promised to report to WWF hee hee) tentang Sanktuari (tsk) Gajah di Sg. Ketiar di Tasik Kenyir. I demand the elephants to be released from their chains! Apakenama sanctuary kah ini?!! Yes I understand, they might naik angin and pijak semua orang sampai mati but I believe if the animals are treated right insyaAllah they will respect you back in return.

Sanktuari konon. Pffth.

Hey you guys, Komikoo isu ke-5 sudah berada di pasaran. Absolutely love it kerana Adijin did the cover (been following his 'Siapa' like a fangirl - Great stuff!). Aku rasa cover kali ini begitu chick magnet sekali. I mean, come on, how could you not love the cover kan?

But of course I have to pimp Chee's Pendekar Kungfu in this issue. (dude if you're reading this ayuh ikut kami makan ayam percik di Kelfood - you'll love it)

I must say that this issue is my favorite-lah. Segalanya best eventhough I do wish the cover is kurang nipis but otherwise all is good. And psst, bigger font for the articles please! ;)

Baru nak baik demam ni. Still a long week. I'm watching the news now. Budak2 sekolah kena histeria lagi.

Save the Hysterics. That would make a good band name.

Tadi a friend of mine tanya what is the status of my pengajian Masters yang terbengkalai itu.

I said it’s "permanently on hold". Whatever that means.

I can’t say I miss post-graduate school very much tapi keinginan untuk menghabiskan pelajaran tetap ada walaupun I think by now I have to start all over again (sayangnya I have one more semester to go – damn you to Dante’s Hell subjek 18th Century Enlightenment!).

Tengoklah macam mana.

(which roughly translates to "when I have extra money, time and brains to fry").

Last few weeks, I walked past a lady di pasaraya di Bangsar di mana tudungnya telah terkena tahi burung yang agak banyak. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, but mostly because I was super hungry and my pasta was waiting for me di D*Lish. I hoped and hoped that somebody would have the courtesy to tell her instead.

2 days back, seorang lelaki tua mengerang kesakitan di tepi jalan setelah dilanggar oleh seorang warga asing bermentaliti seperti warga Malaysia yang gemar memandu laju tanpa memikirkan keselematan pengguna2 jalanraya yang lain. I told (paksa) R to stop by the side of the road, just to check whether pakcik itu memerlukan bantuan yang serius. Sekali lagi scenario yang hampir sama, aku mahu mahu membantu lelaki itu tapi aku takut melihat darah, what if I faint when I see the pakcik’s condition?

Aku mahu jadi superhero, tapi aku terlalu selfish dengan menyalahkan kelemahan diri sendiri untuk bertindak.

If you ask me, whenever I see an accident, nak je aku bantu (trust me, I see a LOT of accidents, including today – perhaps I should work part-time as a tonto instead). But apa kan daya, selalunya lelaki yang berkerumun, and it’s not like I have a first aid kit in hand ke (see, excuses excuses). Mungkin aku belum bersedia.

Mungkin baik aku duduk di rumah diam-diam layan Luna Fantasiku sahaja. Hehe.
Speaking of Luna Fantasiku, notice tak, dalam first episode, one scene was shot at Cupcake Chic yang mengadap IKEA itu but ‘kononnya’ scene itu scene di Singapore – because the chick said something like "I have a plane to catch to KL". Pftth, who are you trying to fool!? Benci! Sama benci macam bila scene ‘luar negara’ is normally shot at Cameron Highlands je. ;p

p/s: Happy Birthday to Nini G. And ooh! The new Komikoo is out. Will review it this weekend (sbb Adijin did the cover and mah friend Chee is in it too, woot!)

Kenapalah aku hanya mengingati untuk bernafas (i.e. tarik nafas panjang-panjang) apabila berada di dalam toilet sahaja. Ish, tak sesuai. Sejak mendapat bos baru, memang agak tertekan di ofis sehinggakan lupa untuk bernafas, lupa untuk mengingati diri sendiri bahawa "this is just work" dan rasa seperti tidak mampu lagi untuk menjadi seorang penulis berbakat untuk syarikat.

Sukarnya hidup apabila bekerja dengan high-achievers.

Pada masa beginilah mula rasa seperti mahu mencari kerja yang 'mindless' sahaja. But I don't think I'll be happy (unless they can pay me gadjillion of bucks to be a secretary ke, PA ke hur hur).

I guess for now I just have to hold my head high and march on!

Bah.

Going back to KB this weekend.

(Oh gawd, janganlah panas sangat cuaca di sana)