Stuff I don’t like right now (because hate is a strong word):
1. Buat board report. Ngggh. Sudah hujung tahun ni, produktiviti kurang.
2. Bila orang langgar your side mirror di car park. Bukannya gheti nak betulkan balik.
3. Mengambil barang yang jatuh ke lantai

I’m sure there’s more but with my short memory span (a blessing in disguise at times) I can only offer 3 for now.

Anyway, my nephew Danial sudah dipindahkan ke another hospital to start his treatment (soon, I suppose). Tisu bone marrow sudah diambil dan next week we’ll get the result. Pertama kali melangkah masuk ke Wad Hematologi rasa seperti melangkah ke universe lain, di mana penghuni-nya hanya berpakaian hijau dan berkepala botak. Bilik Danial was at the end of the corridor dan setiap langkah ke sana terasa begitu berat sekali. Kiri, kanan, semua-nya botak. Ada yang ber-congregate sesama mereka (they look happy), ada yang terlantar (they look sad), ada yang bersama keluarga. Danial was playing Monopoly with a 24 year old guy bersama tunangnya. The guy has leukemia, dan ini kali kedua dia menjadi penghuni wad tersebut. For now, Danial seorang sahaja yang masih berambut dan memakai t-shirt comic yang aku hadiahkan untuknya, a stark contrast from penghuni2 lain di situ. Dia juga sudah pandai mengusik nurse2 dan guard2 wanita di situ, but hey that runs in the family. :)

Yesterday we spent a little bit of time di bilik TV menonton Spa Q (Danial’s room is too cold and miserable). Apabila masuk azan Maghrib, kami minta diri untuk pulang but he asked for us to stay a bit longer. By 7:30, I had to say my goodbye, lagipun this little light bulb dalam perut sudah mula mengaum kelaparan. Danial kelihatan sedikit kecewa, but we promised we’ll come back again over the weekend. Perhaps with a new board game, to ease the boredom a little. I wish I can spend more time with him before he starts chemo because by the time the real misery begins, when he starts losing his hair, when he starts vomiting, crying for help, I’m not sure if can be strong enough for him. It’s just so difficult right now.

In my head, I scream THINK HAPPY! But who am I kidding. For now I’m just grateful that my pregnancy tidak memberikan banyak masalah. I suppose this kid in my belly is giving me all the strength that I need. If I could clone myself. I would. To be a good wife, a devoted aunt, a stellar employee, a caring sister, a happier mother-to-be. Guess I have to work a little harder on that.

(updated: Danial gets to home until the 30th Dec! Alhamdulillah)

Seribu resah di sini. Tapi kita angkat dagu, sapu air mata, pujuk kandungan, teruskan hidup.

Natural blues - Moby

oh lordy, trouble so hard
oh lordy, trouble so hard,
don't nobody know my troubles but God
don't nobody know my troubles but God

Aduh jika drama Rashid Sibir ni asyik go back-and-forth ke flashback sahaja, I think I need something else to watch.

Anyway, ketika dinner di Kelfood tadi, ada makcik tua jual kerepek ni mengeluh kenapa orang sekarang taknak beli kerepek. I wasn't really listening to her, because I get very emotional when I see old people but here are the problems:
1. She wasn't the only selling kerepek there. Before her, there was already 2 ppl selling kerepek, including one brader ska-alim berbahasa Kelantan menjual keropok dan seorang lelaki yang diragui kewarganegaraannya (wow a mouthful!) meminta sedekah - for what, I don't know, but standard lah, pegang file yang berisi surat yang diakui kerajaan.
2. I have more than 4 jenis kerepek at home! I get my supply of kerepek(s) di pasar tani berhampiran pejabat, tak tahulah dibuat di mana, tetapi sangat sedap.

Hmm itu sahaja lah. Melihat makcik tu sudah cukup membuat aku rasa sedikit depressed. Ditambah dengan perbualan bersama ibu sendiri yang menambahkan gundah-gulana. Tambah dengan drama brader Sibir ni pula (alahai drama antara dua darjat is SO yesterday). Masuk tidur awal lagi bagus.

Oh by the way, wahai contractor2 JKR yang rajin sangat nak tar jalan awal2 malam tu (pukul 10 malam) I am sure that you are aware of the massive jam you guys are causing. Tak boleh ke tar jalan lambat sedikit, some of us pukul 10 malam baru nak balik rumah dari office okay!

I am watching Perempuan, Wanita and Dot Dot Dot untuk kali ke berapa sudah. I have to go to work later in the afternoon and hopefully I can get some work done. Begitu banyak sekali kerja yang perlu disiapkan. Sebab apa? Sebab it's so hard to hire people with good writing skills. So if you think you know finance and investment, know how to work the Bloomberg terminal and loves to write and doesn't mind melayan kerenah Americans, I want you! (to suffer with me)

Tengah check out baju kebaya tadi then MIL said "Tak payah tengok, tunggu sampai bersalin".
*sulks into a corner, then emerges minutes later*


Tok Guru on Off The Edge! My hero. And Mr. Barack H.

Minggu ini minggu membaca. But they're not helping to drown things/sounds/fear.

Tengah lipat baju ni. Another round of laundry sedang di air-dry. On TV is some show about Ustaz Azizi mengubat orang yang kena rasuk or something. Tengah contemplate melipat kain cadar yang besar itu which is why I am updating now, tengah tunggu feel untuk melakukan/membuat such a big task. I normally make fun of RashidSibir's drama tapi semalam, aergh, mana aci pikat penonton dengan scene M. Rajoli baca al-Quran. Haih, apa lagi, Kleenex time-lah. Would be nice if I get to see arwah Baba menghabiskan masa tua-nya membaca al-Quran. But the past is past.

Today I'm gonna go out shopping after I watch Melodi. Sudah berhari-hari office pantry menjadi gelanggang hangat mengutuk Norman Hakim keh keh. Poor guy. Siap sembahyang istikharah panggil press tu! This beats drama RashidSibir anytime.

Morning thoughts:

I figured kalau JAKIM/Majlis Fatwa/somesuperpowerwithnobrains mahu mengharamkam yoga, they might as well look into Muslims yang belajar Indian classical dance. Ever wondered if they've been praying 5 times a day? Hmm? Yoga helped me to get through some of my darkest days while trying to nurse a broken heart and it made a huge difference for me yang memang malas exercise. So yeah, that's my testimonial. Look around you, while we turn a blind eye on teenage couples meraba sana sini in public, we're wasting our time and effort trying to haram-kan something that is good for the body, soul and mind. So no brownie points for you Mr. Mufti!

Another thing that will not be getting any brownie points from me is EPF. Excuse me, i like my 11% caruman. So, those losers yang nak kurangkan their caruman to 8%, they're the ones who should isi borang la! Why us? We all know that by the time we retire, our EPF savings can only last for 3 years so fikir-fikirkan lah ye. 3% cannot buy you anything. Keep it. You'll be thanking me when you're old.

Sekian terima kasih. I'm gonna eat my 2nd roti canai now.

Hello.

Walaupun mengamalkan ajaran The Secret (Ask. Believe. Receive. Gratitude. Visualization) but ini sebenarnya kuasa Allah yang Maha Esa semata-mata dan maha mendengar doa (dan rintihan hamba-Nya).

I am 12 weeks pregnant. (addendum: woops, my bad, i'm 13 weeks preggers, man, I can't count)

In other words, aku sudah berjaya melepasi zon trimester (tanpa muntah2, Alhamdulillah) dan bolehlah untuk bercerita pada semua orang – yes, i’m pregnant! Yeahoo! (cuma R yang tak sabar memberitahu dunia-nya terlebih awal dengan memberitahu universe Twitter-nya – tapi berjaya di-delete dengan bantuan Cik Li before anyone sees it dan blog-nya sudah ada unsur-unsur ke-bapa-an). Too soon perhaps? We’ve been married for 4 months, inai masih di jari, masih lagi mencari kesesuaian/keserasian hidup bersama but rezeki adalah rezeki. Mungkin buat masa sekarang aku terpaksa letak di tepi dahulu borang permohonan biasiswa Chevening atau resume yang perlu dihantar ke World Bank (yes, there is an opening based in DC) atau Wii Fit yang sudah lama menjadi idaman itu but for now i need to concentrate on this miracle that is growing in my belly.

Everyday I am engulfed by fear – what if our baby grows up to be someone yang rude dan tidak mendengar kata, what if dia tidak pandai mempertahankan dirinya apabila dibuli rakan sekolah/majikan, what if dia tidak sihat, what if dia tak minat music & poetry & bad drama Melayu yang telah menyatukan ibu bapanya? Terlalu banyak ‘what ifs’ dibandingkan dengan ‘Alhamdulillah jika...”. Berat rasanya beban untuk sentiasa berfikiran positif but insyaAllah I will do my best.

To my friends who have not seen me since forever, aku minta maaf. Tiap kali aku tengok cermin rasa macam mahu di-spray paint sahaja cermin itu. Aku “serabai segala” these days! I know we will meet soon, when i feel good enough about myself. And don’t get me started on how stubborn and annoying i’ve been these days. ;)

So yeah, business as usual at this ranting space. This will not be a “my journey throughout pregnancy” blog i promise (sorry Li!).

Ada ulang tayang Lima on Astro Ria jika mahu nonton.

(oh Abang Laywer Handsome!)

Not sure I'm loving the new Dewa 19 track.

Rasanya mood Raya sudah tiada, it’s back to the usual grind at the office. Lagipun membaca Wall Street Journal dan The Edge Singapore semakin menggigit jari mengalahkan bacaan fiksyen. Aku sudah tak larat nak keep up with the market news (because I keep having to change the information in my write-ups or press releases), but nak tak nak terpaksa baca juga sambil gigit knuckles pula, memikirkan kemungkinan besar bonus tahun depan akan susut jika keadaan ekonomi terus terkapai-kapai kelemasan sebegini. Please do not mention "free-falling" in front of me! Oh well, I suppose rezeki ada di mana-mana, and it doesn’t have to come in the form of money.

Few things to share during the recent balik kampung trip :

1. Pilot MAS cakap dialek Kelantan on board. A nice change.
2. Opposite Istana Batu, there is a cultural village of some sort and also a restaurant that sells nasi ulam. Discovered lauk ikan patin asam pedas meets masak lemak, but with a Kelantan twist, because it was slightly sweet. Tapi sedap!
3. Ketika aku sedang menyidai baju di bawah rumah nenek, my youngest niece si Ayn was running around scaring everyone with a ‘tali’ and she was going “Eeeee, ular, ular”. Of course la I completely brushed her off. Then my other niece took a closer look and alamak, she’s playing with kulit ular! Apa lagi, lintang-pukang lah Cik Nate lari naik atas rumah hehe.
4. My youngest brother is so hopelessly in love. Checking his jiwang SMS-es made me wanna to vomit (sorry I have to play the over-protective sister here, awek gila dia tu asyik suruh dia jadi supir je). Bonus points if i get to understand the bahasa SMS though. Yuck.
5. Akibat kebosanan, my eldest nephew sudah buat music video shuffle-nya dengan bantuan Husband sebagai jurukamera. Will upload it on youtube jikalau connection is good. Which I doubt I’ll do it.
6. Fairul Nizam telah menjadi pelanggan feveret akak yang jual nasi dagang. Read here: Perihal Nasi Dagang..

Okay lah. Back to doing laundry. Nerissa jemput makan tengahari di rumahnya today. Dia beri jaminan sambal belacan uncle-nya pasti meletup. I hope she's right. :)

only in Kota Bharu

this is a happy public toilet
Originally uploaded by natinski

Tahun ini rasanya Raya paling best. :)

Semalam we went to Wisma PKNS at ShahAlam to buy baju kurung Raya. I think it’s my first real baju Raya since my father died.

We will be in Selangor on the first day of Raya and off to good ol’ Kelate until next Monday. I’ll only be on Twitter for now.

Selamat Hari Raya, and Maaf Zahir & Batin peeps!

Semalam berakhir sudah rancangan kegemaran aku. Selepas ini tiada lagi Lima dan eye candy, Abang Lawyer Handsome yang membantu NamRon untuk menjejaki semula keluarganya. Bila ada commercial break, sempat menonton Bersamamu. Kenapa dalam dunia ini masih ada warga2 tua yang hidup susah?!? You know, I cry everytime I watch Bersamamu, I know I’m super weak to watch it but noooooo, nak jugak tengok. Padan muka aku. I’m just a sap at heart. Even watching Pink’s latest video makes me want to cry because I think Pink and Corey Hart should stay together forever and ever.

Few more days to go before Raya! But masih di dalam mode ‘kerja-banyak-rasa-macam-nak-resign-24-hours’. Duit Raya sudah ditukar, biskut Raya sudah dibeli, hotel sudah di-book, jadi tinggal apa lagi? Oh, nak pack baju. Tak suka!

Gourd, how tragic is Lima kan? (The mini series on Astro Ria - Monday to Rabu - 9pm). It's really good though. Memang agak tension sikit apabila menontonnya but man, I'm hooked!

I can't be everybody’s moral police. Especially when I’m passing by the emerging stairs (it’s the fastest way to get to the loo) and I can smell food and ciggies, and men talking in low voices. Hai, bang, takkan tak puasa kot? There’s 20+ floors here, it could be anyone. It could be a team of lawyers, analysts or bankers, but I can only confirm that they are sekumpulan Muslim yang tak malu dan semoga dapat pembalasan yang sewajarnya di akhirat kelak. Benci.

Anyway, if you ever go to pasaramadhan at TTDI, if there’s a super friendly guy selling samosa (seringgit satu) – beli! The samosa is very nice.

I always thought J merupakan seorang yang paling bertuah kerana mempunyai seorang datuk yang dihormati ramai, di mana sumbangannya terhadap bidang penulisan dan journalism tiada tandingan. I suppose J inherited most of his traits - her love for books and kebijaksanaanya ketika kami menuntut sastera Inggeris satu ketika dulu mmg membuatkan aku cemburu. It was so easy for her, sedangkan aku terpaksa bertungkus-lumus untuk lulus. Pasti seronok menjadi cucu kepada seorang ilmuwan yang begitu banyak berjasa kepada negara. I don't think I'll ever forget his wide frame glasses (aku sebenarnya takut padanya - rasa kerdil diri ini - siapalah aku!).

Rest in peace, Pak Samad. You're in a better place now.

Al-Fatihah.

Stuck dalam trafik lagi semalam. Wahai muslim dah muslimah yang rushing nak balik rumah atau ke pasaRamadhan tu, harap2 bersabar juga lah ye. Saya pun nak balik juga. Tak perlu jadi pemandu2 super bangsat kerana you tetap akan lambat. Potong sana, cilok sini, tapi tengok, you masih di belakang saya bukan?

Looks like it’s gonna rain sekejap lagi. Not craving anything today. Cuma today harap-harap pasaRamadhan jalan kuching tidak menghampakan (ye walaupun jam sedunia sanggup ku tempuhi jua!).

Semalam di pasaRamadhan TTDI, tiada apa yang menarik. Hanya Din Murtabak mendapat stamp of approval di atas kesedapan murtabaknya. Tak sia-sia beratur panjang. I saw Erra Fazira beratur untuk beli popia basah jadi mungkin tempat tu sedap juga. The rest, brrh. You know I can tell if the ayam percik is any good by just looking at the kuah...

Today maybe mahu terjah the pasaRamadhan near my house. Menu wajib for me is murtabak, so hopefully can get a good one as well today. If the traffic is not as crazy as yesterday, that is.

By the way, I just registered my eldest nephew to attend a PMR workshop this weekend. He’s so gonna kill me! I don’t care, aku nak jugak dia attend workshop tu. Jangan ada geng2 shuffle kat sana sudah. ;p

Tahun lepas, suasana Ramadhan di office lama agak menyeronokkan. Aktiviti bulan Ramadhan diisi dengan tadarus, tazkirah dan juga the annual bubur lambuk percuma untuk hari pertama berpuasa dan juga peluang berbuka dengan anak-anak yatim. Tahun ini di office baru, habuk pun tarak. Soal beribadat, sendiri mahu ingatlah. Dahlah hanya boleh pulang jam 5. sigh.

Oh my life will never be the same again. Semalam berakhirlah episode Tangisan Bulan Madu with a ‘what-the-F’ ending. So next week with no TBM and Gossip Girl – how am I supposed to function?!?

The last time I checked, there are two other drama series yang menggunakan lagu tema yang sama seperti TBM. Lagu Pelangi Petang by Sudirman. *roll eyes* Can they please not imitate one another boleh tak? I’m sure there are other equally sappy songs that they can use.

On a superhero note, aku sudah report pada WWF (well I told a friend who used to work for WWF who promised to report to WWF hee hee) tentang Sanktuari (tsk) Gajah di Sg. Ketiar di Tasik Kenyir. I demand the elephants to be released from their chains! Apakenama sanctuary kah ini?!! Yes I understand, they might naik angin and pijak semua orang sampai mati but I believe if the animals are treated right insyaAllah they will respect you back in return.

Sanktuari konon. Pffth.

Hey you guys, Komikoo isu ke-5 sudah berada di pasaran. Absolutely love it kerana Adijin did the cover (been following his 'Siapa' like a fangirl - Great stuff!). Aku rasa cover kali ini begitu chick magnet sekali. I mean, come on, how could you not love the cover kan?

But of course I have to pimp Chee's Pendekar Kungfu in this issue. (dude if you're reading this ayuh ikut kami makan ayam percik di Kelfood - you'll love it)

I must say that this issue is my favorite-lah. Segalanya best eventhough I do wish the cover is kurang nipis but otherwise all is good. And psst, bigger font for the articles please! ;)

Baru nak baik demam ni. Still a long week. I'm watching the news now. Budak2 sekolah kena histeria lagi.

Save the Hysterics. That would make a good band name.

Tadi a friend of mine tanya what is the status of my pengajian Masters yang terbengkalai itu.

I said it’s "permanently on hold". Whatever that means.

I can’t say I miss post-graduate school very much tapi keinginan untuk menghabiskan pelajaran tetap ada walaupun I think by now I have to start all over again (sayangnya I have one more semester to go – damn you to Dante’s Hell subjek 18th Century Enlightenment!).

Tengoklah macam mana.

(which roughly translates to "when I have extra money, time and brains to fry").

Last few weeks, I walked past a lady di pasaraya di Bangsar di mana tudungnya telah terkena tahi burung yang agak banyak. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, but mostly because I was super hungry and my pasta was waiting for me di D*Lish. I hoped and hoped that somebody would have the courtesy to tell her instead.

2 days back, seorang lelaki tua mengerang kesakitan di tepi jalan setelah dilanggar oleh seorang warga asing bermentaliti seperti warga Malaysia yang gemar memandu laju tanpa memikirkan keselematan pengguna2 jalanraya yang lain. I told (paksa) R to stop by the side of the road, just to check whether pakcik itu memerlukan bantuan yang serius. Sekali lagi scenario yang hampir sama, aku mahu mahu membantu lelaki itu tapi aku takut melihat darah, what if I faint when I see the pakcik’s condition?

Aku mahu jadi superhero, tapi aku terlalu selfish dengan menyalahkan kelemahan diri sendiri untuk bertindak.

If you ask me, whenever I see an accident, nak je aku bantu (trust me, I see a LOT of accidents, including today – perhaps I should work part-time as a tonto instead). But apa kan daya, selalunya lelaki yang berkerumun, and it’s not like I have a first aid kit in hand ke (see, excuses excuses). Mungkin aku belum bersedia.

Mungkin baik aku duduk di rumah diam-diam layan Luna Fantasiku sahaja. Hehe.
Speaking of Luna Fantasiku, notice tak, dalam first episode, one scene was shot at Cupcake Chic yang mengadap IKEA itu but ‘kononnya’ scene itu scene di Singapore – because the chick said something like "I have a plane to catch to KL". Pftth, who are you trying to fool!? Benci! Sama benci macam bila scene ‘luar negara’ is normally shot at Cameron Highlands je. ;p

p/s: Happy Birthday to Nini G. And ooh! The new Komikoo is out. Will review it this weekend (sbb Adijin did the cover and mah friend Chee is in it too, woot!)

Kenapalah aku hanya mengingati untuk bernafas (i.e. tarik nafas panjang-panjang) apabila berada di dalam toilet sahaja. Ish, tak sesuai. Sejak mendapat bos baru, memang agak tertekan di ofis sehinggakan lupa untuk bernafas, lupa untuk mengingati diri sendiri bahawa "this is just work" dan rasa seperti tidak mampu lagi untuk menjadi seorang penulis berbakat untuk syarikat.

Sukarnya hidup apabila bekerja dengan high-achievers.

Pada masa beginilah mula rasa seperti mahu mencari kerja yang 'mindless' sahaja. But I don't think I'll be happy (unless they can pay me gadjillion of bucks to be a secretary ke, PA ke hur hur).

I guess for now I just have to hold my head high and march on!

Bah.

Going back to KB this weekend.

(Oh gawd, janganlah panas sangat cuaca di sana)

My current guilty pleasure.

Actually when i first started watching it (on TV2 every selasa & rabu), I didn’t know that it was adapted from a book. Ok fine, doesn’t mean anything to me because kalau buku itu sangat jiwang, then i wouldn’t even touch it with a 10-foot pole! Anyway, I started watching it sebab character-nya nama Bogatt. Bogatt?!? Isn’t that like Humprey Bogart? Ada ke nama orang Melayu macam tu (dalam dunia make-believe – hell yes). Besides, pelakon bagi watak Bogatt itu adalah my classmate masa kursus nikah. Huhu.

In a nutshell, plot-nya agak best. Terlalu panjang untuk diceritakan tapi ia lain dari yang lain (Yusof Haslam could learn a thing or two from this). Tapi dah halfway through ni, plot-nya agak mendatar pula. Missed a couple of episodes, and next thing i know Abang Bogatt is XXXX and his half-brother is xxxxxx [no spoilers hehe].

But of course, like any other mini series, bila dah halfway through, mulalah plotnya menjunam menjadi sesuatu yang agak membosankan. I try to watch it once in a while now tapi macam sudah tak best (sbb Abang Bogatt sudah XXXX!). Sigh.

The other day my sister was like, “Aik, since when did you start watching Malay series?”. Like hello, kerap juga ok! OK fine, only if Aaron Aziz yang berlakon. Or Jehan Miskin. I like him a lot. Walaupun dia hanya baca buku Paolo Coelho. Aku cukup menyampah bila orang kata “I read Coelho” because honey, that does not make you the most philosophic person in the world! But that’s okay. At least dia baca buku.

“poser gila babas”*
Kata Sufian Abas (hey that rhymes!)

* Tatkala dia mendapati muka aku keluar Sunday Star semalam. Dia sentiasa cemburu bila aku lagi femes daripada dia. Huhu!

I know I'm supposed to write about the incident that happened masa kenduri kahwin but I already sold our story to a local newspaper today! Should be out in August. Ha! Ha!

So this week dah buat 2 newspaper interviews for 2 different topics. Can't wait to read them ie kisah diri sendiri di dada akhbar. Vain!

On another newsworthy news: Cita-cita untuk menjadi isteri modern yang tidak memasak terpaksa dikuburkan buat seketika. I actually cooked today (last time I cooked masa finals exam Kemahiran Hidup - that's like 14 years ago!). But berkat resipi Chef Wan, Ayam Goreng Masak Seri Wangi turned out delicious! :D To be honest, I can't say I'm too crazy about cooking (makan luar manyak shiok) but will try to cook at least once a week. Do understand that from my ignorant point of view, cooking is like being in a science lab - if I get the right ingredients and sukatan, maka menjadilah eksperimen aku. *evil laugh*

Alhamdulillah, segalanya sudah selesai i.e. no more make-up tebal, bone-breaking corset and jari-jemari semakin pulih dari menggelupas. I’m now back to work - a working wife dan hopefully after all that we’ve been through to get where we are now, mudah-mudahan we will be happy sampai akhir hayat.

Many thanks to our dear family and friends and bloggers for the undying support dan gifts! The best gift that we got was probably from our poet-friend Azwan Ismail, yang telah menghadiahkan sesuatu yang sangat sesuai. Ish, rahsia-lah, cannot tell dia bagi apa... :) Our sincerest thanks to our beloved photogs as well, CandidSyndrome – Udey & Sofi; Zuhri of Redmedia (yang telah banyak berkorban!) and his team and also the wonder woman Anna Rina who I had so much fun with.

It crossed my mind once in a while that bila aku kahwin nanti, no more blogging for me lah. I think I’ve revealed enough already (with reluctance at times) but I don’t think I can. Those who managed to catch my sister’s speech at my reception would know that this is how I speak my mind, this is how I express my feelings – through writings (yang sometimes does not make sense pun). So in the meantime, business as usual for this space.

Will update later on an incident that happened masa reception, untuk dikongsi bersama.

[updated via vtunnel]

Oh Abang Pierre, when you say that your watak in Sepi is going to be different, I really thought you akan membawa watak jahat ke, police brutal with a sexy lisp ke, but nooooo you tipu I! Like hello, your watak in Sepi is similar like the rest! Bukan you selalu berlakon jadi kekasih yang memahami ke? Kalau setakat jadi {exclude spoiler here}, hello, that's not really different honey!

But oh well, do go see the movie. Nasha Aziz berlakon mmg best kali ni (Pierre Andre can learn a thing or two from her).

Anyway, I laughed out loud watching Gaia this week. My husband made a cameo appearance hehe. Geli hati aku.

There will be another wedding reception on 5th of July (thanks to those who showed up at my reception!). My jari-jemari masih menggelupas like crazy no thanks to the inai. Hopefully they'll be okay by Saturday or else I'm gonna look like someone with a severe disease on my fingers. huargh.

Done & Done

DSC_2889.jpg
Originally uploaded by udeyismail

At this point, I can only pray that everything will turn out all right.

(Jari-jemari aku gatal like crazy, I'm allergic to inai buatan negara India! *uhuk*)

I look forward to see my husband.

Fairul Nizam! You are stuck with me now! *gelak evul*

(oops Cik Nate belum kahwin lagi, nikah is on the 28th, reception on the 29th. *breathe Cik Nate breathe*)



p/s: Many thanks to dear Shahril Nizam for the original artwork & Prof. Dr. Lim, you are one in a million.

Permohonon untuk tidak memakai inai telah di-reject bulat-bulat oleh pihak keluarga. Oh crap.

Anyway, 2 days back I had the biggest sms fight with my eldest sister. I think this one is an irreparable one, despite her being the key figure to make this wedding ceremony works. Aku sudah beyond kecewa dengan keadaan sekarang, but inilah lumrah dugaan bagi orang-orang yang mahu membina masjid. Drama.

Biarlah si kakak yang merasa 'she wants everything to be perfect therefore i have to listen to her' berada di dalam bubble kemarahannya untuk beberapa hari. Biarlah si adik ini mengubat luka-nya - i have many things to do in the next 7 days. Wedding dress tak siap lagiiiiiiii!!!

Biarlah Bulan Bicara - Broery Marantika

Happy Father's Day. :(

Undilah kawan saya yang bernama Chee!

Di sini: War Heroes Cover Competition.

Dia di Heat 10. Undilah hasil kerja tangan rakyat Malaysia!

p/s: Dia single dan mahu bercinta dengan gadis Melayu. Aku kata please-lah, jangan, Chee jangan.

Akses to blogger di ofis ini kejap berjaya, kejap di-block.

Great, now I can't recall what i wanted to say.

And we fought like children.

Saat-saat macam ni, I need my friends around me. Dan apabila hati terguris sesama teman yang persahabatan telah terbina sekian lama, it hurts more than papercuts, more than your first (and last) heartbreak.

My sister used to tell me that no man is an island. I guess she's right.

[sorrylah entry emo lagi. sejak-sejak akhir ni memang terlalu emosional, i think by 29th June, my frail heart will be the size of a peanut kot]

This morning I was in the office early because ada tele-conference with our American investasi team at 7:30 am. 7:30! Normally aku baru nak bangun waktu begini. Dahlah semalam I stayed back sampai 10pm. Yelah, walaupun bukan selalu tapi rasanya otak sudah berhenti berfungsi sejak jam 6 ptg. Anyway, the Americans minta maaf berbanyak kali kerana terpaksa memilih waktu sebegini. Mereka di sana jam 6:30 ptg, kita 7:30 pagi. Mungkin boleh dienjakkan lagi masa, but our mat salleh counterparts tak suka stay back, they prefer to spend quality time with family after office hours. Wow. Completely different mentality from ours. If we could sleep at the office, we would. Hur hur.

Peribahasa baru:
Jangan berumah di tepi petrol station.

Padan muka aku terpaksa parking kereta di luar dan agak jauh sebab jam teruk di sekitar petrol station. ;p

Mansun - Wide Open Space

I can do whatever I like. So right now, allow me to emo kejap okay.

I don't do the countdown until the big day because he does. I think I'm pretty much livin' up to the gelaran 'most relaxed bride-to-be on Earth!' but honestly I try not to think about it too much. Or else I'll go crazy or sat gi kena nervous breakdown lagi it's not gonna be very pretty. Buat masa sekarang aku sudah dapat projek baru dan ia dijangka dilancar pada 3 Julai. So you can imagine lah how hectic things are for the next couple of weeks until the big date. I really hope I can pull everything off. InsyaAllah.

Okaylah I want to eat McDonald's now. Oh sedapnya Big Mac! ;p

"youlah cakerawala sebab tu gua jadi bintang mintang"

HA ha Ha ha.

Semalam sebab kami banyak sangat komplen tentang cuaca panas, tiba-tiba Kota Bharu hujan ribut selebat-lebatnya. Masa tu I was di bawah rumah Nenda and ya Allah, nasib baik aku ni bukan bersaiz anoreksia - kalau tidak sudah lama dibawa terbang oleh angin kuat.

I'm back in KL now. First thing I bought today was ayam penyet ria di mentari business park, sunway. Hmm sedap juga. Agak terkilan kerana bekalan frozen ayam percik yang telah dijanjikan kepada few ppl tidak dapat ditunaikan sbb sudah sold-out! Mmg frust betul. Laksam/nasi dagang untuk orang2 Kay Ell juga tidak dapat dibeli pagi tadi because i had to catch my flight early in the morning and peniaga-peniaga Kay Bee only starts selling after 7. Oh well, next time okay.

The Queen Mother (Nenda) told my auntie that aku sudah ada ciri-ciri isteri mithali. Huhu. Well, this means a lot to me lah because over the years it's so hard to please her, everything has to perfect. Lipat baju kena perfect size, gaya menyapu sampah kena demure supaya sampah dan habuk tidak terbang, pemakaian harus sopan etc. So yeah, allow me this moment to be extra grateful for the little things that she say right now. :)


Anyway, I have gossip istana! Tentang Tengku Mahkota kesayangan aku tu lah.. Tapi bila fikir balik, eh aku nak share gosip ini dengan siapa ya? Well, whatever happens I wish him all the best lah and pray that he will find real happiness soon.

Greetings from Kota Bharu! I am sitting on my grandmother's wheelchair (couldn't find a better chair) and checking my work emails. Ye, saya tahu, I should just put work aside tapi saya belum punyai Blackberry jadi no choice ma!

Weather is super hot here. Super, super hot. I am sipping my cold cold Coke right now.

Flight dari KL was okay. Sebaik saja take-off, ada 'abe Kelate' sitting behind me pasang lagu rakyat. Kuat pulak tu! I guess dia tidak minat muzak yang dimainkan dalam pesawat MAS. Nak gelak pun ada, saya tahulah awak tak sabar nak balik KB - sebab saya pun tak sabar juga - but you don't have to play the lagu Kelate so loud! ;p

I had nasi dagang for breakfast tadi...

Okay-lah gotta run, nenek sudah tanya sama ada sudah sembahyang Zohor ke belum.... woops.

Hmm lately ni banyak pulak orang lock blog mereka (okay fine, just 2 but still). You know who you are okay - jangan baca entry ini and go "huhhh me?" pulak.

Last weekend ketika makan ayam penyet cinta it turns out that Peterpan was eating at the table behind me. Like omg. Tapi actually Cik Nate buat tak tahu aja.. sebab Ariel takde pun. Because if he was around hell yes I would have posted a pic of us here bebeh.

Semalam first time in so many years aku mengigau. Mimpi kaki diheret di bilik mayat. Bila menjerit, ya Allah seksanya suara nak keluar. Hopefully malam ni takde recurring dreams - tak sanggup beb! Perhaps I should sleep with the lights on tonight.

Ok ciao dulu. I'm going back to KB on Thursday. Tidak terkata keseronokan untuk makan, makan dan makan!

Hmm nothing much to update.

This is the same answer ppl will get bila mereka tanya how's the wedding preparation coming along.

Nothing much to update, because seriously, there's nothing much to update! hehe.

But in the meantime, save the date okay. 29 June. Nanti I send invitation to you allz okay.

[Oh my God I am watching Astro Ria and laughing at Ifa Raziah.]

Actually the process was quite simple. I was just supposed to prick my mom’s finger, tap her blood on the sugar level device and it will tell us samada sugar level Mama tinggi atau tidak.

But I just couldn’t do it. Aku tak sanggup tengok setitik darah pun keluar dari badan Mama. Then I started crying. I couldn’t even get the damn thing to work so I gave up. That was last night.

This morning, my eldest sister ajar aku macam mana nak inject insulin pula. Normally my sisters would do it, and I have been able to avoid the task like a plague for the past 4 weeks. Aku tak sanggup. Tapi kerana tidak mahu menghampakan my family, aku cuba juga. Masa baru nak sukat insulin, aku sudah mula resah. My 2nd niece – si Anis – made a remark to her mother “Makcik macam nak nangis je, Umi?” Apabila jarum kecil itu sudah sedia dengan insulin-nya, my hand started shaking and sekali lagi I started crying, uncontrollably. Tapi my family pujuk juga and in the end, I managed to do it.

It was the longest 10 seconds of my life.

2 nervouse breakdowns. Kalau macam ni lah keadaan aku tiap kali I have to inject insulin, isk, kang tak pasal2 aku pulak yang masuk hospital kang.

I’m sorry Mama, you know how much I love you. Please don’t be disappointed in me. I just need more time and strength to do this.

Well no one ever told me not to mess with budak2 emo/goth/rempit/shuffle di bukit bintang. First of all, we were amused by the sight of schoolkids (including girls around the age 13-15) menari shuffle di tengah khalayak ramai. Suffice to say they did not look cool dan there is no way they can compete in the World Shuffle Competition – should there be one la kan. The main question is: Siapa parents mereka? Sub-question: Tak malu ke?

I’m not gonna deny it, I have issues dengan budak2 shuffle ni (by the way, sejak bila tarian techno tong-tong cheng ini menular ke remaja2 Melayu?), oh yeah where was I? Digression pulak. As I was saying I have issues dengan budak2 ini sebab my nephew is one of them. Tak habis2 dengan shuffle-nya. Bukan boleh pas periksa pun dengan menari. So far kebebasannya agak terbatas but I was telling Girl semalam, if I ever see Dan kat BB dengan budak2 yang muka tak malu tu, haaa siaplah dia kena belasah dengan aku.

But fikir balik, at least the kids are in the public eye kan? Mereka tak kacau orang. At least they’re not elsewhere, hisap ganja ke, ber-coitus ke apa. Hmm. It’s debatable I suppose. Dah lah, malas nak fikir, I’m not even a parent to begin with huhu.

On our way back, sebaik sahaja melepasi traffic light di Lot 10, Girl was driving my car on the fast lane. Lo and behold, ada lebih 30 budak2 rempit/emo ni berjalan di tepi jalan – lemme rephrase that berjalan makan jalan – they were literally in the middle of the road! Disebabkan Cik Nate ni tahap driver ala road bully (what do you expect – we live in KL) – apa lagi, aku honk la mereka. Ingat ini jalan datuk mereka ke apa. Kalau kena langgar, tak ke bersepai kepala otak mereka yang tak mendatangkan apa2 untung kepada masyarakat ini?

By then, budak2 tu bising la, sbb nyaris nak kena langgar kan. EXCEPT one last guy in the group thought he was trying to be gangster and clever:

He tried to smash my car window using his hand.

Ikhhh sakit nya hati aku!!! Nasib baik cermin aku tak pecah! Honestly, mmg Girl and & I panik sikit – tapi hey – cermin aku tak pecah. On the bright side – budak yang cuba pecahkan cermin aku tu – kemungkinan hari ini tangan dia akan bengkak – atau sakit selama seminggu. PADAN MUKA ENGKAU.

Dalam alternate reality aku, aku mahu langgar mamat tu. Bila dia jatuh, aku akan keluar dari kereta with my baseball bat dan tambah lagi kesakitannya. Biar dia meraung kesakitan mintak ampun dengan mak bapaknya.

But of course, kemungkinan besar, aku pula akan dibelasah dengan 29 kawan-kawannya yang lain! But hey! Aku boleh lari masuk dalam kereta la, then reverse kereta, and langgar yang lain sampai mampus. I’ve seen the gangsters here do it in my neighborhood la. Ingat gua takut ke?

*ehem* Emo pulak saya. Saja je ni, tak lepaskan kemarahan. Buat masa sekarang aku cuma mampu berdoa agar budak bangsat yang nak pecahkan cermin kereta aku tu akan menderita kesakitan tangan yang agak kronik. Lebih bagus jika tangannya terpaksa dipotong.

Hehe. Wishful thinking. Okaylah I want to do yoga now.



Breathe Cik Nate, breathe!

I turned 31 yesterday. Atau 201 tahun kalau ikut pengiraan hari polis. Rasanya tahun ini adalah tahun pertama Cik Nate tak ambik cuti but that's only because the project - my baby that I've been working on was officially launched on the 25th jugak. Alhamdulillah, all went well, walaupun ada a few hiccups yang tidak diduga. Semalam tido dengan lena setelah beberapa minggu terjaga jam 5 pagi sbb asyik fikir tentang kerja.

Tak sempat buat birthday wish, tak sempat nak depressed sbb sudah one year older, tak sempat nak plan untuk bersuka-ria gaya tak masuk akal.

I guess I'm all grown up now.

(I am also a liar - somebody please buy me a PSP sbb tak tido malam gian nak main Patapon! kthnxbai)

Results out, Alhamdulillah, it's a joyous day indeed for us.


Anyway, after lunch yesterday I took my nieces to OU to buy Anis' birthday present (nasib baik dia pilih handbag yang tidak terlalu mahal untuk makciknya bayar) and my standard 4 niece Ameera pula mahu ke bookshop untuk membeli buku.

As an auntie with no children it's excellent news bila the kids are starting to show interest in reading. So we went to MPH. Took her to the tweens section, coz i was assuming that she wanted to get chick lits ke apa. Setelah hampir setengah jam browsing dan buku dicari tidak dijumpai, I had to ask the dreaded question: "Buku Bahasa Melayu ke?". She said yes. Huwaaa ingatkan buku bahasa Inggeris!

Had to go to the service counter and gave the name of the book xxxxxx xxxxxxxx and made the stupidest remark: "Er,I think it's a Malay book.". *tepuk dahi* Apparently the book sold out. Wow! Buku apakah ini yang menjadi kegilaan kanak2 semua? Mengapa buku-buku jenis ini amat hodoh sekali ilustrasi-nya? Wait a minute, bukan aku kenal ke orang yang kerja di publication house ini?

To look on the bright side, at least she wants to read. That's a good start. Suatu ketika dulu aku pernah berjaya to get my eldest nephew Dan interested in reading Harry Potter. Tapi itu sebelum suara dia pecah and he discovered that it's cooler to be interested in girls than some boy on a broom stick. Ameero, the 2nd nephew pula (sorry aku mmg ramai anak buah) suka baca suratkhabar - yeah try explaining to a kid apa maksud seks rambang and other things you find in the news haha. Antara banyak2 anak2 buah Cik Nate, only Adyra reads in English (she needs to get out of her High School Musical phase fast).


Dalam erti kata lain, my kempen membaca masih belum berjaya.

I try to remember how I got interested in reading when I was a kid but as a kid i never liked hanging out with the kids in Kg Bharu anyway (they're vicious - mereka main masak2 dengan membakar seekor goldfish sehingga hangus) jadi books were my only retreat. Besides, having parents yang juga ulat buku was an added advantage. Hmm.

I'm gonna go look for the book for my niece today. I'm gonna read it first, see if it's any good. ;)

Don't pee here, pig.

Don't pee here, pig.
Originally uploaded by natinski

Selamat Mengundi!

(photo taken in Kota Bharu)

Jika diberikan peluang, saya mahu strangle seekor ayam di kawasan perumahan ini. Ayam ini, walaupun hanya seekor, mampu mengejutkan seluruh kawasan jajahan DAP ini dengan kokokan-nya (?) yang nyaring - jam 5:30 pagi, setiap hari. Sometimes i feel like ayam tu sebenarnya tidur di balkoni aku. Or under my bed. It’s not fair okay! I need my sleep! You know how tiring it is to be solving riddles and battling demons in my dreams? Pffth. If i dont get the ayam to shut up then there will be blood soon!

I won tickets to see Backstreet Boys tonight. Tiket tu adalah sumbangan dari the investment team here. Alangkah malunya bila satu Company mendapat email pengumumam bahawa aku telah memenangi tiket tersebut (yelah selalunya email untuk all staff adalah berkenaan market indeks atau berita2 hangat dunia kewangan). I cant walk anywhere without anyone singing a BSB tune today. Haha very funneh guyz.

It’s so hard to get up in the morning today. My snooze normally goes off twice before I get up, shower, make coffee, catch the news on CNN and then perhaps watch a bit of CSI. On Channel RTM2 normally ada rancangan ‘Jom Minum’ (I still think the name of the show promotes alcoholism LOL) yang selalu membuat saya rasa lapar dan ingin pulang ke Kota Bharu for a bite of roti bakar di White House.

Speaking of which, don’t believe all the crappy stuff they’re saying about Kelantan. I know it’s the election fever and all but please, seeing is believing. Poverty is poison. But who am I to say this, all I can do is switch the channel and pretend that Obama will rule Malaysia instead. Yeah. Hillary pun takpe, I tak kisah.

Last Saturday di Annexe, Amir Muhammad launched his New Malaysian Essays 1 and Sufian Abas dengan Kasut Biru Rubina-nya. Suf, terima kasih di atas kata-kata perangsang tersebut and-of-course-i’m-being-sarcastic-here. But since i am a wonderful friend, here’s the book promo: Get yourselves a copy of these books. Sangat best! Tolonglah beli! Feed the starving artists! Hack the planet! :D

Saya juga berasa amat gembira kerana dapat bertemu teman-teman lama pada malam itu. Walaupun gaya hidup baru (bebas tanpa unsur hedonisme) sedikit sebanyak menjarakkan kita, namun jelas persahabatan kita semua masih utuh! Apa-apa hal, Sabtu ini kita jumpa di The Loft ok! Hehe.

Di Annexe, aku telah memulangkan sesuatu pada Saharil:



This is why you all should lend me money! I always pay back (er, well, most of the time), I always return things that I borrow! In this case, after 7 years, Jukstaposisi dipulangkan ke pemiliknya.

Gotta run. Starbux is giving out free coffee here!

Kasut Biru Rubina! 16 FEBRUARY 2008!

Kasut Biru Rubina! 16 FEBRUARY 2008!
Originally uploaded by sufian_abas

I'm such a bad friend! Anyway, my greatest critic (no, actually he's just that mean and sarkastik to me - dia umpama personifikasi budak2 Mean Girls tu, minus the boobs), hey apa aku rambling ni, so yeah anyway Sufian Abas is out with a new book! Aku tak marah walaupun my face didn't make the cut for the cover (ini bukan cerita dongeng) but yeah, he's awesome! Filosofia terulung! Dia rawkz!

(Annexe tomorrow, 8:00 pm. Jemput datang ye)

Demam. Well, slight fever. So tak boleh lah nak mengada sangat.
Bukannya tak boleh bangun, bukannya tak boleh berfikir.
But after 4 days break baru nak demam? Itu yang agak upset tu.

Bertambah upset apabila pergi ke doktor panel,
Doktor panel mengesahkan bahawa ya, you have slight fever
Tapi you tahu ubat apa dia kasi kat I?
Panadol & Clarinase
Like hello, kalau setakat bagi ubat2 macam ini,
I pun boleh jadi doktor okay!

In fact, i take Panadol and Clarinase all the time
Sampai sudah tiada effect dah. Like coffee.
Which is why i go see a doctor!
Grrr, geram sungguh.

Anyway, ketika cuti CNY i took my nephew and niece main layang-layang di Taman Metropolitan Kepong.
Angin sangat baik sekali, walaupun in the 1st place i was more interested in going home, layan America Votes 08.
Tapi bila layang-layang (Pocahontas kite, mind you) sudah tinggi, wow, syioknya!

Here’s a tip, di taman tersebut, untuk mengelakkan dari layang-layang tersangkut dengan ratusan layang2 di ruang lapang itu, go fly your kite by the lake. The wind is better there, and tiada gangguan! Manyak syiok!

Speaking of my nephew, he is 15. Muka sudah berjerawat, suara sudah pecah, maklumlah dah adolescent.
Gemar memakai baseball cap dan berbaju warna hitam.
Kemahiran utama adalah menari ‘shuffle’ walaupun dia selalu kena maki ngan aku:
“Why can’t you dance like Usher or Solja Boy instead!!!”

Anyway ketika kami di Jusco last Saturday, ada minah gedik ni (around his age) usha anak buah aku.
Amboi adik manis, tengok saya punya anak buah macam nak makan ye! *roll eyes*
Aku tengok anak buah aku sama control macho, sambil memberikan jelingan tajam dan senyuman ala Peter Petrelli pada awek tersebut.

Pergh, boleh tahan playa jugak anak buah aku ni. Ikh, budak2 zaman sekarang.
Makcik is very proud of you Danial! Hehe.

Suddenly I feel very old.
But harap2 Danial akan terus membesar menjadi seorang lelaki yang menghormati wanita.
I dont know, we’ll see about that.
Jangan dia mengurat awek rempit macam kat Jusco hari tu sudah.

"kelate rock"

"kelate rock"
Originally uploaded by [n.]

I'm going back to KB tomorrow for a haircut and a meet-and-greet session.

Altogether now,
"I think I’m drowning, asphyxiated…"

Photo by [n.]

OK selepas menjalankan kempen makan ayam penyet dengan jaya sekali setelah pertama kali menikmatinya di Kota Singa, i finally went to the Waroeng Penyet located at Cik Nate’s pasar ahad: The Curve. Gaaahhh it’s so good! Sehingga menjilat jari pinkie! If only i could learn how to make ayam penyet (no wait, first i have to learn how to cook huhu). I’m not a big fan of the Teh Botol but it was a delight to discover Jus Gembira (it’s like air bandung, with soda). Sambil munching on the crunchy chicken with Girl hari tu, tiba-tiba kami teringat, it’s been a year since we last menjejakkan kaki ke Bali. Tahun ini tak tahu lagi bila masa sesuai untuk pulang ke sana, kalau Amerika Syarikat dilanda recession, kalau Barack Obama asyik kalah kepada Ms Clinton, kalau Indeks Han Seng terus jatuh, kalau ada lagi artis Hollywood mati tergolek disebabkan drug overdose, you think i have time to spend my money on a tiny holiday?

Perhaps i do. I just need some excellent time management to execute.

This weekend (25 & 26 Jun) ada persembahan Mak Yung di Istana Budaya. Jemput mari adik kakok! Should be good. Kalau si Endeng Tejeli (yang telah dipasung di Gua Tegayung kerana rupa parasnya yang tampan) tidak kacak, I want my money back weh! ;P

* entry deleted. Aku malu tengok muka aku sendiri! *

Satu Penghijrahan.


Click to enlarge

Datang sini malam ini bagi pihak aku (because I got fancy schamcy dinner with bankers tonight – honestly, I’d ditch my bareback red dress anytime)



Appearances by:
• Funky Doryz,
• Duniya,
• Nazar & d'extensions,
• Infinatez,
• Najwa,
• Imran Ajmain, (woot!)
• Radiostar,
• Otam, (kroni!!)
• Noh &...,
• Tongkat,
• Bard Layarjiwa,
• Pash,
• Fynn,
• Roy a.k.a. Fairul Nizam (kroni!!)
• Arus Pelangi

Booths and brands: PopRina, Super Sunday, Click a Child etc. (mana Ricecooker? Pop Malaya? Our Happiness?).

[Happy Birthday Mike]

After having pre-birthday supper with my girlfriend (it’s her birthday, not mine) at Palate Palette last night, i casually said to her “Let’s be Melayu and go to Dataran Merdeka for a change”. It was meant as a joke but as if i was on auto-pilot, i drove to Dataran anyway. HA ha! Rupanya ada raptai some New Year concert going on, and M Nasir was singing. Then Mawi was singing. Sigh i wish i have something sarcastic to say about him right now but i’ve been sleeping half of the day today so yeah, kepala agak blur sikit. Been reading John Fante (aku masih tidak faham kenapa lelaki2 Melayu mengagumi Bukowski – oops jangan marah Sayang). We left 15 minutes later, kerana the ppl there were starting to look scary. In fact mawi’s voice was so loud, i had to turn up some drum n bass music kasi full blast sikit to block out his voice from ringing in my head. And to block out lagu tema Sembilu Kasih yang tiba2 menyesakkan minda aku.

To the kids di meja Our Happiness di Kurasa Something ‘do last Saturday, i like my tee shirt very much thank you. Keep up the great work!

I swore i saw Lacoste Posterboy di Neraka on that day tapi by the time I turn around, dia sudah hilang. Magik betul.

Selamat Tahun Baru. Kalau jatuh, bangun sendiri ok.

Dalam bahasa Kelantan, this facial expression is what we call ‘ma-seh che-toong’. I barely passed my phonetics-and-phonology masa kat uni dulu so dont ask me how to show you how to pronounce it here. So what is ‘ma-seh che-toong’ you may ask? Tu, tengok muka suami aku Ahmad Dhani tu, masam mencuka. Keh keh.

Photo stolen from Azman. (Bro if you’re reading this, gw mmg pencurik! You rawkz! Ayuh kita ke Bandung!)

I was trying to sleep on Tuesday night dan gagal (anxiety ni) lalu aku telah mendengar radio. Then a female voice came on, lirik-nya terlalu familiar: “Hawa tercipta di dunia, untuk menemani sang adam..”. The voice sounds familiar too.. hey wait a minute, this is Ella singing ‘Dua Sedhjoli’!!!

WTF. Ella, you fail at life. Stop singing covers. You have no right.
Ohh, satu lagi. An email from Suf:
"Meet Uncle Hussein macam bapoks. Who the fuck says akue, miu, bowneka, ciukuplah?"

Bwahaha. (Kudux jangan marah aku my friends say the darnest things all the time)

Oh Lupe Fiasco, album terbaru-mu sangat best sehinggakan aku telah berjaya menyapu seluruh rumah dengan penuh diligent sekali walaupun aku allergic pada habuk (alasan wanita urban terkini). Funny how I got myself geared up for a rock concert dengan mendengar lagu rap. But i made peace with myself, kali ini i’m gonna go to the concert, sit back and relax.

So yeah, the Dewa 19 concert yesterday. First of all, sedikit disclaimer, segala komen di sini, are of my own. One’s meat is another’s poison yada yada yada. Kalau ada spelling error, that’s because i’m typing in semi-darkness. Aku terlalu gayat untuk menukar lampu siling dengan sendiri.

First of all, I met Pierre Andre. Kami sama-sama berbaju merah. Sama-sama duduk di tepi jalan. Walaupun era fangirl-ing aku terhadap PA sudah tamat tempoh, but i just had to mention it here lah. He has nice ass. Tee hee.

Second of all, aku beli mug Dewa 19. Tahniah kepada entrepreneur2 Malaya yang bijak meng-print ‘merchandise2’ Dewa 19 untuk kami baladewa yang sanggup membeli apa sahaja ini. Workmanship begitu teruk sekali tapi aku tengok sales mereka begitu brisk. Syabas! Apa kata you allz tahun depan jual figurin Dewa 19 pula eh?

Third of all, all you ugly Malaysians yang tak gheti beratur dan pakcik-pakcik RELA yang hangat2 tahi ayam suruh orang beratur macam di kem Auschwitz, aku tak maafkan sampai bila-bila.

The concert itself was great (yes of course i’m bias but still!). If we put aside the endless Xpax commercials, the completely useless Dollah Cantik whoeverhemaybe and the 1and a half hour wait (why does Dewa 19 always have this knack of making you feel like they’re never gonna perform?) the next 3 hours seemed like a nanosecond to me. Our view was great, facing Andra and i think Once was on our side most of the time so that was a double bonus for us.

Dont ask me what song they played because i think they pretty much played most of their hits as opposed to their ol’skool playlist ketika di Stadium Merdeka sebelum ini. I pretty much started crying the minute *cough* si khalifah *cough* Ahmad Dhani started singing (that would be ketika his intro to Sheila Majid’s version of Aku Cinta Kau & Dia). Girl sudah mula menangis ketika start lagu pertama lagi, tetapi dia mmg emo macam tu. Hehe.

Their collabo with SM and Rabbani jived well (really well actually) until that little pijat in baju ala Gwen Stefani muncul – oh Mulan Kwok why do we even breathe the same air. She cant bloody sing, she cant dance, her legs are too skinny, her new single sounds too much like a Dewi-Dewi track (sorry Ahmad Dhani) and who one earth gave her the green light to sing Andra & The Backbone’s Musnah! Memang MUSNAH lagu itu. Aku rasa sel otak aku mati sepanjang ‘pencemaran’ Mulan di atas stage. Nggh.

Sedikit distraction sepanjang concert adalah courtesy of the Indonesians fans (no not you rich ones, the other ones – the headbanging, banner waving topless ones). No, this is not a racial/country profiling here because as we know, Malaysian (legal) concert-goers most of the time are passive. Kami tak akan robohkan benteng besi, kami tak akan lompat benteng besi. In future concerts, please dear Indonesian concert-goers, please have some respect for our RELA officers and the concert crew. Half of the time i was worrying about the older RELA officers, what if things go wrong, what if something happen to them, who will be held responsible for the mess?

I woke up early this morning feeling like baru lepas kena brainwash. Was i at the concert of the year last night? Then why do i feel like baru lepas ditinggalkan oleh seseorang yang aku cintai? Ok ok fine, kejiwangan tolak ke tepi, I hope Ahmad Dhani will come again next year! And years to come! So that my kids will get to see their Mommy’s madness!

Made a last minute decision not to see Andra & Backbone tonight. Am too tired. Have i not learnt my lesson from the previous Dewa19 gig di Planet Hollywood?

Photos of the concert will be directed later to my friend Azman’s fotopages who had photographer’s pass last night.

Shine on!

(kenapalah aku tak ambil cuti sahaja esok)

kenapa aku tak jadi tea lady sahaja

bloomberg training
Originally uploaded by natinski

Sometimes i secretly wish that i’m a tea lady. Semua orang baik terhadap tea lady. Gosip rumah tangga, putus cinta, kisah artis pop malaya, semua dikongsi bersama tea lady. Hey i have skills in buat air yang sedap, i say to myself. Why am here, in the pantry, nodding to the tea lady, wishing for one second aku boleh jadi tea lady. Kenapa harus aku risau tentang krisis sub prima yang melanda Amerika Syarikat? Bank mergers? Sukuk? Kenapa? Kenapa?!?

Emo kejap. Takmau lah jadi tea lady. I love my job too much at the moment to be wondering about how manis my coffee is these days.

i want one (maybe not)

i want one (maybe not)
Originally uploaded by natinski

Di office lama, i’m known as the walking dictionary. Tapi kini, dah lain pula, i am the walking thesaurus! Not sure which one i like the most but mana-mana pun okay. Nobody speaks Malay here. Oh well. Hey, if i can charge 50 bucks per word, i’d be rich by now! Namun begitu, i am still getting emails from my ex-colleagues meminta jasa baik aku betulkan grammar mereka and whatnots. No problem. Super Cik Nate sedia membantu! Cik Nate juga sedia membantu si budak trainee yang half-British itu dengan masalah bahasanya. :)

The girls here would hum “Aint no mountain high enough’ apabila mereka terlalu banyak kerja untuk disiapkan. Memandangkan i cant sing for peanuts, i just crank up my rap tunes on my iPod haha. Release tension sikit. Phlowtron pun layan juga because rap Melayu best juga apa? Tak pun i just go downstairs dan melihat sekeliling dari perspektif seorang wanita yang bekerja keras(!) demi masa hadapan-nya (!). Tak pun kalau rajin aku melangkah sedikit ke Starbux kerana jika Shak ada sana aku akan dapat 30% diskaun. Or some rubbish like that.

Have a great weekend. Kita harus jadi baik minggu ini. Harus!

(not my boobs)

Semalam di persidangan Baladewa di Suzi’s Corner kita telah memutuskan bahawa we will not make the same mistakes we did (non-mentionables) the last time Ahmad Dhani and his soldiers of lurve datang ke Malaisia. Instead, careful planning shall be made to ensure that I we will get the best of him. Hehe.

Am feeling a bit sick today. Semalam apabila i got home, i raided my [nearly expired] collection of medicines (yang disimpan dalam kotak cokelat. How convenient – let’s give them to kids!) and took a spoonful of Breacol and pil yang ditanda ‘demam’ dan ‘sakit’. I slept like a log last night. Woke up, got ready and drove to work. Rasa seperti melayang.

In other words,

I’m high today ok.

Ohhh i thought i was going crazy for a while tadi. I hate being on dial-up.

So yeah, what Cik Nate want Cik Nate always get! (mind the grammar) Managed to reach Zouk last Friday walaupun I was cursing all the way dari Sierramas ke Jalan Ampang hehe. Terima kasih En. Transformers kerana sudi menemani (well i tricked him into believing that I will introduce him to hot German girls - which i did eventually thanks to Ira & Jazmine).

Rasa macam bermimpi apabila dapat berhibur bersama Tompi dan Malik & d'Essentials. Time flew so fast and they were fabulous! The next thing i knew, we were already partying the night away di The Loft (it was Led Zep night) where i bumped into Zedeck (ikhhh kiyoot-nya dia), Sunder, that crazy guy from Ciplak and even my geeky cousin pun ada, haha. Tiba-tiba rasa macam di gig Hujan pula because there were so many boys looking like ppl who would be seen at er, a Hujan gig. Many thanks to Chee (and Sunder) for everything.

I think dah banyak kali I keep forgetting that I'm already 30. I need to stop being reckless wehh (tapi Cik Nate tak puas enjoy lagiiiii!, jerit batin). Am not getting any younger and I'm sorry for hurting the one I love because of that.

Esok ada induction the whole day. I hear the food is good. In case my stupid Internet connection buat hal lagi esok, Happy Birthday to Farrah, Ame and Elin! Love you guys!

My beloved Tompi and Maliq & d’Essentials will be performing at Zouk tonight! Jemput datang ye!

Badabing! Kerajaan Malaysia 1 - DBP 0

Rais tells DBP to stop borrowing foreign words

KUALA KLAWANG: Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP) has been told not take the easy way out by borrowing words from foreign languages to be added into the Malay vocabulary.

Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim said such a regressive attitude would not benefit the Malays, who have a rich heritage.

“What I don’t understand is why should we borrow words from other languages when we have our own. A fine example is the word iklan (advertisement). I have been made to understand that the DBP dictionary no longer uses the word iklan and has changed it to advertansi,” he said.

Dr Rais said there were many other examples and the DBP had to stop this.

He was responding to a comment by Grik MP Datuk Dr Wan Hashim Wan Teh who claimed that DBP had run out of ideas and failed to do proper research on Malay words.

Wan Hashim said DBP also used words such as bajet (budget) and konsultansi (consultation), although there were words in Malay that denoted the same meaning.

“DBP should borrow foreign words only after it has exhausted all options in looking for a suitable word in Malay,” said Dr Rais at the opening of a RM3.5mil public library by Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Mohamad Hasan.

So fine, I only read comics for the sole purpose of liking the plot or illustration like Scott Pilgrim (baru baca semalam hehe), Summer Blondes, Blankets, Ghost World, Death: The Time of Your Life or whatever thrown my way but it’s time to pimp something new and local: Komikoo.

It’s only 4 bucks! Out now in stores, y’allz. I like it a lot!

p/s: Come on, when was the last time you read a Malay comic that uses phrase like ‘ubermensch’ eh?

Ketika sedang menikmati cupcake di D'Lish Bangsar bersama teman-teman termasuk Nasrullah yang singgah ke KL dari Jakarta, I-do said the most spot-on thing last night. She said that i totally deserve this job for the 2 years and 2 months that I've suffered from my previous job.

She is right. I think I am much happier now. Of course there is no such thing as the 'perfect job' and I am doing my best at the moment to cope with the new job but yes! i am heppi! la la tally ho and all that.

Cuma agak tertekan bila teman-teman baru di office berkata "But you're an experienced writer, that's why the management hired you!". Experienced, maybe. But an excellent business writer?
Brrgh gerun aku dibuatnya.

Last day of work!

Aku mahu menangis kepenatan.

p/s: Pagi ini layan lagu Ice Ice Baby full blast on my way to work. Word to your mother. ;P

hari ini ada satu candidate datang interview untuk ganti tempat aku dan esok ada seorang lagi candidate. i personally like the one today because i've worked with her before at an event last year and she's sweet, hard-working and speaks good english. i didnt have the heart to tell her that if she gets the job, be prepared for a lot of mental anguish; makan hati sebab rasa tidak dihargai dan perlu ambil alih uniform (sendat) Wonder Woman aku ini. it's tough here, but if her rezeki mmg di sini and she can flourish here, then i pray for the best untuk dia. semoga dia dapat memenangi hati CEO yang beku itu. working here has made me into a very rude person, someone who has zero tolerance for stupidity. but i hope to change all that soon.

i make it sound like i have nothing but bad memories here but 70% percent is the truth. the other 30% i am grateful for the friendship forged (ala Fellowship of the Ring gitu) and the valuable lesson i've learned here.

[wah this is starting to sound like a farewell email to all staff that i will probably not send]

I think the problem with local radio stations (Malay ones) is that apabila sesuatu topik dibicarakan, ia akan terus menjurus kepada persoalan gender. "Lelaki yang patut bla bla bla" or "perempuan memang tidak pandai...". Can we please have a radio show yang melambangkan equilibrium antara gender instead of hearing the male DJ or female DJ trying to defend themselves? Kita sebagai pendengar gets frustrated with all these gender bias dan cakap ntah apa2 especially when the radio presenter kurang matang dari segi pengalaman dan suka hati buat spekulasi atau teori sendiri. whatever happens to the time when we get to hear penyampai radio yang bersuara sedap? why do they sound like itik serati these days?

Okay i'm just rambling. semalam aku mimpi Ahmad Dhani bergambar bersama aku. Dia begitu kacak sekali. See? Dia masih jodoh aku! Lagu terbaru Dewa 19 tentang cinta tertinggal di Malaisie is actually about me! I swear!

Nota: I cant stop giggling when i type "kita sebagai pendengar" Yeah it's all about me / me / kita / saya sebagai pendengar / pengundi / pembayar tol / pencinta alam bla bla bla. Can i have my own radio show now please.

I'm taking a break from working on my slides while my colleague is out for lunch and i sudah kirim tuna sandwich. i'm on a diet! but i'm also a liar because i ate rice this morning, and yesterday (di madam kwan, pavilion) and the day before (sebelum sambutan hari jadi Mama). Ikhhh tak bagus.

Proof that people still read this blog is that pada hari Jumaat ada beberapa orang ajak pergi clubbing. Tapi in the end i ended up makan malam di Suzi's sahaja. Rugi rugi.

And oh! you guys! Minggu ini minggu terakhir di office ini. Minggu hadapan sudah bermula kerja di office baru. Ye, tiada waktu senggang langsung but what to do, every day off cost money! Jadi kehadapan stalker-stalker saya, mulai minggu hadapan jangan hantar apa-apa ke pejabat saya lagi! Kihkih. Buat masa sekarang masih belum sempat untuk rasa melankolia atau sedih kerana akan meninggalkan teman-teman di sini sebab kerja banyak sangat! Tension betul lah.

Eh, sandwich dah sampai. Later then.

Disebabkan i am a natural hipokondriak, aku cubalah mencari sebab musabab keaadaan sekarang. Aku selalu pening, telinga rasa berdesing. Vertigo ke? Then selalu juga leher rasa cramp. Tapi cramp ini aku tahu datang dari stres. Ok let's put that aside then. But i feel like the earth is gently moving at times. I have a doctor friend, yang selalu belanja aku makan. Tapi rasa segan pula untuk hantar pesanan teks kepadanya. Kena gigit serangga, call dia. Gastrik datang, SMS dia. Agaknya kalau aku jadi doktor aku juga mengalami keadaan yang sama bukan? Pasti ramai je yang nak SMS aku tanya tentang penyakit macam2.
(Tapi Doc if you're reading this, my ear hurts! Jom I belanja you minum Kemaman white coffee di Section 14? Hehe.)

Pada malam pra-Deepavali I attended the Breast Awareness Campaign Fund Raising Dinner anjuran Estee Lauder. This is my 2nd year attending. Tapi tidak seperti tahun lepas, Emran sudah tiada. Sebb dah kahwin artis itu (now you know who is this Emran!) Oh well doesnt matter. The food kinda sucks though. You mean i paid 300 bucks to be served makanan hospital!?! Where are all the oil and fat and cholesterol!? *sigh*

I'm updating this just for the sake of killing time before i go home. hope you all have a great weekend. Raya dah habis eh? Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. I bought her tudung dari Munawwarah and tomorrow morning nak beli roses for her and a sugar-free cake (if there is such thing).

I have SO mellowed down lately. Siapa mahu pergi clubbing tonight? :P

Syafique, yang berumur 8 tahun dan bersekolah di Jepun dan ada girlfriend bernama Charlotte yang berbangsa Perancis asked me a peculiar question:
"Auntie, why do you want to marry my uncle?"
Adeh, pening sekejap nak menjawab soalan budak ini. How do i explain to a child that cinta yang dihujani oleh uncle-nya begitu murni sekali dan tiada komplikasi termasuk pelbagai lagi aspek2 lain yang diambil kira? In the end, I ended up saying the normal things. Dia baik. Kelakar. Penyabar.
Tapi Syafique tidak berhenti di situ.
"Well you know, women only like men who are handsome and have lots of money".
Kids say the darnest thing i tell you.